That moment when you find one of your comedies that you forgot had existed XD
Blarkrok: So Keplers, I heard you like Mudkipz!
Kelpers: I do? Where are you getting this from?
Blarkrok: You'll see... *grabs Keplers and runs out*
Later on christmas eve...
Blarkrok: So Kratark! I heard you like mudkipz!
Kratark: Yes, I do. Very much so. I was gonna pay Inharax to make me one but he said it'd be impossible to do that with viruses and liquid protodermis. Pfft! What does he know?
Blarkrok: Well... Open your present!
Kratark: No... You didn't! did you?!
Blarkrok: well I heard you liek mudkipz. So...
Kratark: *opens box*
Blarkrok: I got you the closest thing I could find, a mudkeps!
Kratark: ... This is just... Keplers, covered in mud... How did this happen?!
Keplers: He stuck me inside a puddle of mud and stuffed me in this box.
Kratark: ._.
Keplers: Blarkrok is nulled.
Blarkrok: NOOOOOO!!!!!!
Blarkrok at this point suddenly disapeered from existence.
Kratark: Uh-
Keplers: What u lookin at? U wanna get nulled too? Huh? Do ya?
Kratark: I was just gonna say the showers at Destral are nice, if you want to use them ._.
Keplers: Remind me to sic Inharax on you.
Kratark: It's not my fault! I just wanted a mudkip!
Keplers: Go play Pokémon then! I'm out of here!
And so, Kratark had a muddy christmas. Muddy christmas to all! And to all a good night!
The particular day that is being written about was pleasent enough. Not too cold, not too hot. Not raining but there were a fair amount of clouds in the sky, the ones you'd typically find on a nice sunny day. But again, the day was pleasent enough without being too perfect. Though the drama mounted near a certain river which flowed from ga-koro to the larger oceans of Aqua Magna. But nobody knew quite why. Hewkii and Macku were for some reason or another on a yacht, the first of its kind to sail on the surface of Aqua Magna's waters. Its purpose was purely recreational. Note that this is not a ship, it's a boat still. Cus it's on a river, and thus, is not a ship.
Hewkii: Wait... I don't get it, why am I getting swim lessons on a yacht?
Macku: Because we wanted to get as dangerously close to a ship as possible.
Hewkii: But... it's a boat.
Macku: Exactly, but soon, it won't be.
Hewkii: I... don't... get it...
Macku: Look, as long as we're on a boat, Mrcqm won't be shamed by the millions of other users who will read this. Kapish?
Hewkii: Um... your logic is flawed, just because we're on a boat doesn't mean this isn't a-
Macku: This isn't a ship, it's a boat.
Hewkii: Ship...
Macku: Boat.
Hewkii: ... WELP! I'm ready to learn a forseeably unnecesary survival skill! How does the frog work again?
Macku: Oh, no no no, the frog is a very advanced aquatic dance routine, and is muuuuch later in the class.
Hewkii: But... croak croak croak...
Macku: For now! This is how you don't drown!
Macku stood in the pool at that point.
Hewkii: Um... you're not floating. You just have your feet on the floor.
Macku: Exactly!
Hewkii: Are you saying it's impossible to float on water unless you have your feet on the floor?
Macku: Yup!
Hewkii: Then how does Gali do it?
Macku: I... I don't know.
Hewkii: I'm... not sure you're actually a good swim teacher.
Macku: No I'm not. Buuuuuuut. We're still on a boat!
Hewkii: What does that mean?
Macku: It means this is not a ship.
Hewkii: So? Why does it matter that this isn't a ship?
Macku: It means we can't kiss each other yet so you better act natural and start learning how to swim!
Hewkii: But you're not even good at it!
Macku: Sure I am! Watch!
In the moments that followed Macku was floundering about clumsily in the 2 feet deep pool.
Macku: Ah! Help! I'm drowning!
Hewkii: ...It's shallow just stand up...
Macku paused, got herself upright, and found that Hewkii's advice worked.
Macku: *gasp*! My hero! You saved me! Oh hey, look! The boat is finally going out to sea!
Hewkii: So?
Macku: Which means this is almost a ship!
Hewkii: Aaaaaand?
Macku: It means-
The rest of the story was cut off so that Mrcqm would not humilate himself by accidentally writing a ship instead of a boat. Suffice to say, however, they kissed each other.
The particular day that is being written about was pleasent enough. Not too cold, not too hot. Not raining but there were a fair amount of clouds in the sky, the ones you'd typically find on a nice sunny day. But again, the day was pleasent enough without being too perfect. Though the drama mounted near a certain river which flowed from ga-koro to the larger oceans of Aqua Magna. But nobody knew quite why. Hewkii and Macku were for some reason or another on a yacht, the first of its kind to sail on the surface of Aqua Magna's waters. Its purpose was purely recreational. Note that this is not a ship, it's a boat still. Cus it's on a river, and thus, is not a ship.
Hewkii: Wait... I don't get it, why am I getting swim lessons on a yacht?
Macku: Because we wanted to get as dangerously close to a ship as possible.
Hewkii: But... it's a boat.
Macku: Exactly, but soon, it won't be.
Hewkii: I... don't... get it...
Macku: Look, as long as we're on a boat, Mrcqm won't be shamed by the millions of other users who will read this. Kapish?
Hewkii: Um... your logic is flawed, just because we're on a boat doesn't mean this isn't a-
Macku: This isn't a ship, it's a boat.
Hewkii: Ship...
Macku: Boat.
Hewkii: ... WELP! I'm ready to learn a forseeably unnecesary survival skill! How does the frog work again?
Macku: Oh, no no no, the frog is a very advanced aquatic dance routine, and is muuuuch later in the class.
Hewkii: But... croak croak croak...
Macku: For now! This is how you don't drown!
Macku stood in the pool at that point.
Hewkii: Um... you're not floating. You just have your feet on the floor.
Macku: Exactly!
Hewkii: Are you saying it's impossible to float on water unless you have your feet on the floor?
Macku: Yup!
Hewkii: Then how does Gali do it?
Macku: I... I don't know.
Hewkii: I'm... not sure you're actually a good swim teacher.
Macku: No I'm not. Buuuuuuut. We're still on a boat!
Hewkii: What does that mean?
Macku: It means this is not a ship.
Hewkii: So? Why does it matter that this isn't a ship?
Macku: It means we can't kiss each other yet so you better act natural and start learning how to swim!
Hewkii: But you're not even good at it!
Macku: Sure I am! Watch!
In the moments that followed Macku was floundering about clumsily in the 2 feet deep pool.
Macku: Ah! Help! I'm drowning!
Hewkii: ...It's shallow just stand up...
Macku paused, got herself upright, and found that Hewkii's advice worked.
Macku: *gasp*! My hero! You saved me! Oh hey, look! The boat is finally going out to sea!
Hewkii: So?
Macku: Which means this is almost a ship!
Hewkii: Aaaaaand?
Macku: It means-
The rest of the story was cut off so that Mrcqm would not humilate himself by accidentally writing a ship instead of a boat. Suffice to say, however, they kissed each other.
The particular day that is being written about was pleasent enough. Not too cold, not too hot. Not raining but there were a fair amount of clouds in the sky, the ones you'd typically find on a nice sunny day. But again, the day was pleasent enough without being too perfect. Though the drama mounted near a certain river which flowed from ga-koro to the larger oceans of Aqua Magna. But nobody knew quite why. Hewkii and Macku were for some reason or another on a yacht, the first of its kind to sail on the surface of Aqua Magna's waters. Its purpose was purely recreational. Note that this is not a ship, it's a boat still. Cus it's on a river, and thus, is not a ship.
Hewkii: Wait... I don't get it, why am I getting swim lessons on a yacht?
Macku: Because we wanted to get as dangerously close to a ship as possible.
Hewkii: But... it's a boat.
Macku: Exactly, but soon, it won't be.
Hewkii: I... don't... get it...
Macku: Look, as long as we're on a boat, Mrcqm won't be shamed by the millions of other users who will read this. Kapish?
Hewkii: Um... your logic is flawed, just because we're on a boat doesn't mean this isn't a-
Macku: This isn't a ship, it's a boat.
Hewkii: Ship...
Macku: Boat.
Hewkii: ... WELP! I'm ready to learn a forseeably unnecesary survival skill! How does the frog work again?
Macku: Oh, no no no, the frog is a very advanced aquatic dance routine, and is muuuuch later in the class.
Hewkii: But... croak croak croak...
Macku: For now! This is how you don't drown!
Macku stood in the pool at that point.
Hewkii: Um... you're not floating. You just have your feet on the floor.
Macku: Exactly!
Hewkii: Are you saying it's impossible to float on water unless you have your feet on the floor?
Macku: Yup!
Hewkii: Then how does Gali do it?
Macku: I... I don't know.
Hewkii: I'm... not sure you're actually a good swim teacher.
Macku: No I'm not. Buuuuuuut. We're still on a boat!
Hewkii: What does that mean?
Macku: It means this is not a ship.
Hewkii: So? Why does it matter that this isn't a ship?
Macku: It means we can't kiss each other yet so you better act natural and start learning how to swim!
Hewkii: But you're not even good at it!
Macku: Sure I am! Watch!
In the moments that followed Macku was floundering about clumsily in the 2 feet deep pool.
Macku: Ah! Help! I'm drowning!
Hewkii: ...It's shallow just stand up...
Macku paused, got herself upright, and found that Hewkii's advice worked.
Macku: *gasp*! My hero! You saved me! Oh hey, look! The boat is finally going out to sea!
Hewkii: So?
Macku: Which means this is almost a ship!
Hewkii: Aaaaaand?
Macku: It means-
The rest of the story was cut off so that Mrcqm would not humilate himself by accidentally writing a ship instead of a boat. Suffice to say, however, they kissed each other.
A lot.
This has got to be the best one so far.
What can I say? I like living on the edge, and I always thought shipping was a ridiculous idea, and yet, an interesting subject matter
Slipperysnakeboy: Nyaaaahahahahahaha!!! *narrowly ducks under the second like at sonic speeds.*
*CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCALP*
Slipperysnakeboy: Let's get out of here, guys! LMBE is overrun! *jumps through monitor* *crash lands in a job interview* Well, uh, hi. If this a job interview?
Employee: Yes? You didn't know? Slipperysnakeboy: Out of the frying pan and into the fiya.
Employee: You're hired. Don't crash the forklift, it's like a mousetrap. You're the mouse.
Slipperysnakeboy: ...Why is reality so much more dangerous then the worlds in my head?
-last edited on Jun 2, 2017 1:49:33 GMT by MrJello100
Post by MrJello100 on Jun 2, 2017 1:49:07 GMT
*Theme Song* Kopaka slides on from stage right. Kopaka: Aaay, welcome to Rock Klimbing™! I'm your host, Kopaka. Now, we did mention it in the last episode, but in case you're just joining us, today we're covering the topic of belaying! What is belaying you ask? Why, belaying is the art of
having someones life in your hands in which if you fail, you could accidentally smash them and you will be forever shamed by yours peers, your elders, your brothers, sisters, and all beings in general.
Managing the ropes from which the climber us suspended, and is kept safe by! You wouldn't want to go climbing without someone belaying to back you up!
Before we hit the commercial break, I'll go over the basic concept behind belaying. There's this small metal structure, called a grigri, where the rope goes through. It acts as a break, letting rope slide through one way, but not the other. As the climber climbs higher and higher, more rope should be pulled through the grigri to get rid of as much slack in the rope as possible! This way, the rope will catch the climber should he or she lose their grip!
Thanks for joining us! We'll be right back after these messages!
*Theme Song* Kopaka slides on from stage right. Kopaka: Aaay, welcome to Rock Klimbing™! I'm your host, Kopaka. Now, we did mention it in the last episode, but in case you're just joining us, today we're covering the topic of belaying! What is belaying you ask? Why, belaying is the art of
having someones life in your hands in which if you fail, you could accidentally smash them and you will be forever shamed by yours peers, your elders, your brothers, sisters, and all beings in general.
Managing the ropes from which the climber us suspended, and is kept safe by! You wouldn't want to go climbing without someone belaying to back you up!
Before we hit the commercial break, I'll go over the basic concept behind belaying. There's this small metal structure, called a grigri, where the rope goes through. It acts as a break, letting rope slide through one way, but not the other. As the climber climbs higher and higher, more rope should be pulled through the grigri to get rid of as much slack in the rope as possible! This way, the rope will catch the climber should he or she lose their grip!
Thanks for joining us! We'll be right back after these messages!
*These Messages*
*puts on a military outfit, shouts "THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!", slaps MrJello, and runs away before anyone can get the reference*
-last edited on Jun 27, 2017 2:30:47 GMT by Emarcee
Post by Emarcee on Jun 4, 2017 5:25:09 GMT
Onewa, with advice from Matau, is on the cusp of a major scientific discovery.
He is about to write the most hilarious joke in the history of the universe.
The Turaga carved it onto a stone tablet in big, friendly letters.
When he finished, he gave it the once-over, just to see if it was funny or not
It was.
In fact, it was too funny. He could not stop laughing.
Laughter rang out from Onewa's home for all the Matoran and Agori to hear. Within a minute or so, however, the laughter had gone silent.
Everybody assumed he had merely gotten over the joke.
They were wrong.
He had laughed for so long that he had forgotten to breathe.
You can probably imagine what his fate was.
And so it was that the once mighty Toa Metru, and beloved Turaga of stone, Onewa, died laughing.
It got worse, however. When Onewa's closest friends went in to recover Onewa's body, they read the writing on the stone tablet, and they too fell victim to the world's funniest joke.
It was very clear, they would need a professional.
Naturally, they called in the most serious, no-nonsense people they could think of: the Order of Mata Nui.
Specifically, Tobduk would be the one to recover the joke, and (instead of destroying it, like any sane person would) seal it away within New Daxia so that it could later be used to as an assassination weapon.
One of the concerned stone Matoran approached Tobduk and asked if he had any sort of strategy to survive the joke, he replied with a very lengthy explanation as follows:
"Ah, well, you see, it's quite simple actually. First of all, I am going to be thinking about all my fellow comrades in the Order that I had assassinated simply because they knew the location of Artakha, then I am going to think about that incident with the Visorak that lead to my people's exile from their own home. Additionally, my good friends from the Order, Axonn and Brutakka, shall be on hand to sing the saddest ballad they could think of. Er... hold on a minute -- hey! Axonn, what was that ballad you were gonna sing?"
"The one about Matoro."
"Really? I thought we were going with the one about the shipwreck."
Suddenly, at this comment, Brutakka perked up, saying, "Oh! We can sing that one! I just thought Matoro's sacrifice was sadder."
"Whatever it takes to make sure you come out of that hut alive bro." Said Axonn.
"Well then, where was I? Ah yes! The atmosphere created from all of this should protect me in the eventuality of me reading the joke. Everyone -- it's been an honor." Commented Tobduk, who, upon saying this, left, and cautiously entered the hut.
Axonn and Brutakka's voices mingled with each other, as they faithfully sang that wonderful old ditty (you know? The one that was compressed down from a two A-track set?) "The story lives on how the boat she went down and the people all died! ...Bummer!"
Not long after they had finished singing the song, hideous, sickly laughter emanated from Onewa's former residence. It was the voice of Tobduk, laughing a laugh that he should otherwise have never engaged in.
Naturally, Axonn and Brutakka went inside to check in on their teammate.
Not long after that, two more voices joined the chorus of laughter.
-last edited on Jun 5, 2017 20:12:27 GMT by MrJello100
Post by MrJello100 on Jun 5, 2017 20:11:30 GMT
A small, purple, scorpion-like creature scuttles on from stage left. This is Purple Baby Nui-Jaga, or PBnJ for short. PBnJ: Correct horse battery staple! PBnJ: *bows* PBnJ: *attempts to gain command of the universe via vacuum cleaner* PBnJ: *fails* PBnJ: *blushes* PBnJ scuttles off stage right
A small, purple, scorpion-like creature scuttles on from stage left. This is Purple Baby Nui-Jaga, or PBnJ for short. PBnJ: Correct horse battery staple! PBnJ: *bows* PBnJ: *attempts to gain command of the universe via vacuum cleaner* PBnJ: *fails* PBnJ: *blushes* PBnJ scuttles off stage right
Your TV flickers to life and an international broadcast appears on your telivision. Mr. Makuro appoears to be a psychologist.
Mr. Makuro: Hello! I'm Mr. Makuro. You may know me as the founder of Hero Factory but I am also a very capable psychologist. Today we have a very troubled patient, the infamous Makuta Teridax. who rebelled against his brother and nearly destroyed the universe. So Teridax, what can you tell me about your early life?
Teridax: It's not my fault! I was made egotistical and evil!
Mr. Makuro: That's the spirit! That's the whole basis of Hero Factory you know... Past events don't form character, it's the way you're built that counts!
Teridax: Wait, so you're saying I'm destined to be evil?
Mr. Makuro: It's how you were made, I'm afraid theres no hope for you. Furno, Stormer, take him away!
Teridax: I'm starting to think you're not a very good psychologist.
Mr. Makuro: You were made evil and that's that! Why do you think I made Hero Factory? Every year I doll out 2 heroes and get rich off of the misfortune of others! Between you and me, we make villains too! HAHAAAA! Besides, nobody changes.
Teridax: But I can change! Watch!
Teridax shape shifts various times.
Mr. Makuro: LALALALAAAA I'M NOT LOOKING!!!!!
Teridax: But I'm changing! I feel good! Suddenly I want to apologize to Miserix and fix another planet! Thank you doc! WOOHOOOOO!!!!!! I'M CURED!!!!!!
Mr. Makuro: STILL NOT LOOKING LAALALALALAAA PEOPLE DON'T CHANGE!!!!!
Spoken like a true psychologist, obviously all one's problems were caused by a traumatic event in one's 'childhood' (as Terry doesn't have a childhood it's difficult to say what exactly he has in place of it). In Makuta's case, being made.
-last edited on Jun 13, 2017 11:05:06 GMT by Yo Yo Piraka
Post by Yo Yo Piraka on Jun 13, 2017 11:03:36 GMT
It's a quiet night in the Matoran Universe. Peaceful. Almost too peaceful for any to foresee the true atrocities that await the universe. Billionaire playboy Mister Ix and his young ward Terry are sitting down in their comfortable abode in Destral for an enjoyable evening of watching Metru Nui Coliseum - the greatest talent display show in the universe.
Terry: There's nothing I like more than a good, relaxing evening after a session of intense training.
Mister Ix: I couldn't agree more my young friend. May I also say that your ballet skills have improved considerably.
Terry: Thank you Mister Ix, it means a lot.
*The intro theme for Metru Nui Coliseum plays and the Ga-Toa announcer appears on screen*
Ga-Toa Announcer: Welcome Toa, Turaga, Matoran, Makuta, Skakdi, Zyglak, Rahi, mutated beings, other named species and unnamed species. This is Metru Nui Coliseum - the greatest talent display show in the universe. I'm your host Toa Naho Mangai. On tonight's show, we have the special talent group specialising in the recently popular 'stone' music - Hafu and the Hydrukas!
*The screen pans over to six oddly shaped Matoran in the centre of the Coliesuem, they start playing badly on their instruments, much to the disgust of the audience. After a few more notes the Matoran remove their armour to reveal...The Barraki!*
Mister Ix: It's those scheming generals, the Barraki. Their leader, Pridak.
Pridak: Good day Metru Nui. Sorry about the performance, Hafu and the Hydruka's are doing a smaller venue tonight, the broom closet. Hahahahahaha.
Terry: Mantax the silent terror and the tempter Takadox.
*Mantax stands silently to the side while Takadox ties down Naho*
Takadox: Don't even try escaping pretty girl.
Mister Ix: The terror Ehlek and the brutish Carapar.
*The two mentioned are seen barricading the doors so the panicking crowd can't get out*
Carapar: Don't even try to escape, you crabs.
Ehlek: Question: what renders crowds speechless? A shock. N-hahahaha.
Terry: Not to mention the slithery villain Kalmah.
Kalmah: Metru Nui, you now belong to the League of Six Kingdoms!
*Kalmah turns to the camera*
Kalmah: Don't go anywhere folks. We'll come for you after the break.
*The camera is knocked over and the television screen goes blank. Mister Ix goes to turn off the television*
Terry: Holy scheming generals, those creeps -
Mister Ix: Hold your breath Terry, this looks like a job Makuta and Teridax!
It's a quiet night in the Matoran Universe. Peaceful. Almost too peaceful for any to foresee the true atrocities that await the universe. Billionaire playboy Mister Ix and his young ward Terry are sitting down in their comfortable abode in Destral for an enjoyable evening of watching Metru Nui Coliseum - the greatest talent display show in the universe.
Terry: There's nothing I like more than a good, relaxing evening after a session of intense training.
Mister Ix: I couldn't agree more my young friend. May I also say that your ballet skills have improved considerably.
Terry: Thank you Mister Ix, it means a lot.
*The intro theme for Metru Nui Coliseum plays and the Ga-Toa announcer appears on screen*
Ga-Toa Announcer: Welcome Toa, Turaga, Matoran, Makuta, Skakdi, Zyglak, Rahi, mutated beings, other named species and unnamed species. This is Metru Nui Coliseum - the greatest talent display show in the universe. I'm your host Toa Naho Mangai. On tonight's show, we have the special talent group specialising in the recently popular 'stone' music - Hafu and the Hydrukas!
*The screen pans over to six oddly shaped Matoran in the centre of the Coliesuem, they start playing badly on their instruments, much to the disgust of the audience. After a few more notes the Matoran remove their armour to reveal...The Barraki!*
Mister Ix: It's those scheming generals, the Barraki. Their leader, Pridak.
Pridak: Good day Metru Nui. Sorry about the performance, Hafu and the Hydruka's are doing a smaller venue tonight, the broom closet. Hahahahahaha.
Terry: Mantax the silent terror and the tempter Takadox.
*Mantax stands silently to the side while Takadox ties down Naho*
Takadox: Don't even try escaping pretty girl.
Mister Ix: The terror Ehlek and the brutish Carapar.
*The two mentioned are seen barricading the doors so the panicking crowd can't get out*
Carapar: Don't even try to escape, you crabs.
Ehlek: Question: what renders crowds speechless? A shock. N-hahahaha.
Terry: Not to mention the slithery villain Kalmah.
Kalmah: Metru Nui, you now belong to the League of Six Kingdoms!
*Kalmah turns to the camera*
Kalmah: Don't go anywhere folks. We'll come for you after the break.
*The camera is knocked over and the television screen goes blank. Mister Ix goes to turn off the television*
Terry: Holy scheming generals, those creeps -
Mister Ix: Hold your breath Terry, this looks like a job Makuta and Teridax!
Holy pliet Miserix! I never knew Terry loved dancing!
I can't believe you've done this. Return of the Caped Crusaders? Really? WHY IS EHLEK THE RIDDLER?!?!?!
A small, purple, scorpion-like creature scuttles on from stage left. This is Purple Baby Nui-Jaga, or PBnJ for short. PBnJ: Correct horse battery staple! PBnJ: *bows* PBnJ: *attempts to gain command of the universe via vacuum cleaner* PBnJ: *fails* PBnJ: *blushes* PBnJ scuttles off stage right
References anyone?
Well that was very random.
Indeed, and may I say I do very much appreciate the left side of your signature image thingy.
*facepalms*
...uh.
*Puts on Kakama*![[y]](http://storage.proboards.com/6672327/images/WYWPH2VRo26pOFDid7QZ.png)
Out of the frying pan and into the fiya.
