Bionicle Comedy Central

Slipperysnakeboy: *drops to the ground, gasping for breath*

Lewa: Running low on oxygen?

Slipperysnakeboy: Oh, uh *gasp* Sure.

Lewa: *Takes to the sky and starts jogging* I'm running high on oxygen! 
Slipperysnakeboy:   *facepalms*

Gali G2: And I'm running high on water! *splashes her feet with water*

Slipperysnakeboy: Shh! Shh! Shh! ...what is that?

Gali G2: My joke? I'll explain it if you-

Slipperysnakeboy: No! Just- ...is that clapping?

*clapclapclapclapcalp*

Slipperysnakeboy: It is! They liked my comedy!

*CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCALP*

Slipperysnakeboy: Oh, heh heh, they really liked my comedy...

*CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCALP*
Slipperysnakeboy:   ...uh.

*CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCALP*
Slipperysnakeboy: Run!!! AGAIN!!!   *Puts on Kakama*

*CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCALP*

Slipperysnakeboy: GRAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! *Sonic BOOM!*



Slipperysnakeboy: WOW! *Dodges like*

*CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCALP*



Slipperysnakeboy: Nyaaaahahahahahaha!!! *narrowly ducks under the second like at sonic speeds.*

*CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCALP*

Slipperysnakeboy: Let's get out of here, guys! LMBE is overrun! *jumps through monitor* *crash lands in a job interview* Well, uh, hi. If this a job interview?

Employee: Yes? You didn't know?
Slipperysnakeboy:  Out of the frying pan and into the fiya.

Employee: You're hired. Don't crash the forklift, it's like a mousetrap. You're the mouse.

Slipperysnakeboy: ...Why is reality so much more dangerous then the worlds in my head?

Onewa, with advice from Matau, is on the cusp of a major scientific discovery.

He is about to write the most hilarious joke in the history of the universe.

The Turaga carved it onto a stone tablet in big, friendly letters.

When he finished, he gave it the once-over, just to see if it was funny or not



It was.


In fact, it was too funny. He could not stop laughing.

Laughter rang out from Onewa's home for all the Matoran and Agori to hear. Within a minute or so, however, the laughter had gone silent.

Everybody assumed he had merely gotten over the joke.

They were wrong.

He had laughed for so long that he had forgotten to breathe.

You can probably imagine what his fate was.

And so it was that the once mighty Toa Metru, and beloved Turaga of stone, Onewa, died laughing.

It got worse, however. When Onewa's closest friends went in to recover Onewa's body, they read the writing on the stone tablet, and they too fell victim to the world's funniest joke.

It was very clear, they would need a professional.

Naturally, they called in the most serious, no-nonsense people they could think of: the Order of Mata Nui.

Specifically, Tobduk would be the one to recover the joke, and (instead of destroying it, like any sane person would) seal it away within New Daxia so that it could later be used to as an assassination weapon.

One of the concerned stone Matoran approached Tobduk and asked if he had any sort of strategy to survive the joke, he replied with a very lengthy explanation as follows:

"Ah, well, you see, it's quite simple actually. First of all, I am going to be thinking about all my fellow comrades in the Order that I had assassinated simply because they knew the location of Artakha, then I am going to think about that incident with the Visorak that lead to my people's exile from their own home. Additionally, my good friends from the Order, Axonn and Brutakka, shall be on hand to sing the saddest ballad they could think of. Er... hold on a minute -- hey! Axonn, what was that ballad you were gonna sing?"

"The one about Matoro."

"Really? I thought we were going with the one about the shipwreck."

Suddenly, at this comment, Brutakka perked up, saying, "Oh! We can sing that one! I just thought Matoro's sacrifice was sadder."

"Whatever it takes to make sure you come out of that hut alive bro." Said Axonn.

"Well then, where was I? Ah yes! The atmosphere created from all of this should protect me in the eventuality of me reading the joke. Everyone -- it's been an honor." Commented Tobduk, who, upon saying this, left, and cautiously entered the hut.

Axonn and Brutakka's voices mingled with each other, as they faithfully sang that wonderful old ditty (you know? The one that was compressed down from a two A-track set?) "The story lives on how the boat she went down and the people all died! ...Bummer!"

Not long after they had finished singing the song, hideous, sickly laughter emanated from Onewa's former residence. It was the voice of Tobduk, laughing a laugh that he should otherwise have never engaged in.

Naturally, Axonn and Brutakka went inside to check in on their teammate.

Not long after that, two more voices joined the chorus of laughter.

A triplet of dull thuds resounded from the hut.

And then... nothing.

It's a quiet night in the Matoran Universe. Peaceful. Almost too peaceful for any to foresee the true atrocities that await the universe.
Billionaire playboy Mister Ix and his young ward Terry are sitting down in their comfortable abode in Destral for an enjoyable evening of watching Metru Nui Coliseum - the greatest talent display show in the universe.

Terry: There's nothing I like more than a good, relaxing evening after a session of intense training.

Mister Ix: I couldn't agree more my young friend. May I also say that your ballet skills have improved considerably.

Terry: Thank you Mister Ix, it means a lot.

*The intro theme for Metru Nui Coliseum plays and the Ga-Toa announcer appears on screen*

Ga-Toa Announcer: Welcome Toa, Turaga, Matoran, Makuta, Skakdi, Zyglak, Rahi, mutated beings, other named species and unnamed species. This is Metru Nui Coliseum - the greatest talent display show in the universe. I'm your host Toa Naho Mangai. On tonight's show, we have the special talent group specialising in the recently popular 'stone' music - Hafu and the Hydrukas!

*The screen pans over to six oddly shaped Matoran in the centre of the Coliesuem, they start playing badly on their instruments, much to the disgust of the audience. After a few more notes the Matoran remove their armour to reveal...The Barraki!*

Mister Ix: It's those scheming generals, the Barraki. Their leader, Pridak.

Pridak: Good day Metru Nui. Sorry about the performance, Hafu and the Hydruka's are doing a smaller venue tonight, the broom closet. Hahahahahaha.

Terry: Mantax the silent terror and the tempter Takadox.

*Mantax stands silently to the side while Takadox ties down Naho*

Takadox: Don't even try escaping pretty girl.

Mister Ix: The terror Ehlek and the brutish Carapar.

*The two mentioned are seen barricading the doors so the panicking crowd can't get out*

Carapar: Don't even try to escape, you crabs.

Ehlek: Question: what renders crowds speechless? A shock. N-hahahaha.

Terry: Not to mention the slithery villain Kalmah.

Kalmah: Metru Nui, you now belong to the League of Six Kingdoms!

*Kalmah turns to the camera*

Kalmah: Don't go anywhere folks. We'll come for you after the break.

*The camera is knocked over and the television screen goes blank. Mister Ix goes to turn off the television*

Terry: Holy scheming generals, those creeps -

Mister Ix: Hold your breath Terry, this looks like a job Makuta and Teridax!