DISCLAIMER: The following news-article spoof means no offense to the LEGO Group or the Chinese government. This spoof that only 2 people are ever going to read is for entertainment purposes only and should not be construed in any way shape or form as an attack on the disturbing amount of control that China has over its citizens. In addition, no offense is intended to those who would seek to indoctrinate children into fully supporting the clearly benevolent government of China which has not once hurt its citizens during the history of its reign. Nor should this spoof be thought to imply that the LEGO may or may not be complicit in any alleged brainwashing of Chinese children.
The LEGO Group, in its completely ethical and responsible marketing efforts in China has struck a deal with the organization known as "STEAM" (no, not that app that holds a monopoly over the PC gaming market, it's a different STEAM that provides elementary school courses for Chinese children). The LEGO Group has agreed to create courses that foster collaboration, and collusion corroboration with STEAM's and by extension the Chinese government's efforts to indoctrinate young children into the government's ideals to create political homogeneity teach children about life in the 21st century by giving them the opportunity to build exciting education products projects such as:
1. A "creative" suitcase symbolic of the real suitcase they may one day have if they're lucky enough to become one of China's hand-picked business executives rather than the all-too-common factory worker who barely gets paid anything and has to work long, excruciating hours just to survive.
2. A "simple machines set" likely depicting the sweat shop factory machine they might almost undoubtedly one day have to work with.
3. A space set which definitely does not foreshadow a second space race.
4. An airport set complete with a comprehensive guide on how to not lose 'social points' so that they don't lose their right to purchase transportation
Scheduled for test in primary schools in Shanghai later this month, the STEAM courses with consist of student textbooks and teacher guidebooks. It is be officially available from April 2019.
I must apologize if anyone is offended by the "collaboration, and corroboration" line in this latest spoof. The intent at first was to use the word "corroboration" as a word that had a slightly different connotation from collaboration to make the suggestion that LEGO's actions in the Chinese market are closer to collusion than mere teamwork. By the time I realized the slightly more offensive way that line could be interpreted, I must confess it became simply too funny to not include. For the sake of not being too edgy or politically incorrect, however, I did want to write this accompanying post to offer an explanation.
My intention was not, and I should certainly hope never will be, to make fun of anyone. And I hope people will be understanding of that when they read the article (and then, hopefully, this).
That aside, the number list of the different sets LEGO is releasing in China contained obvious exaggeration that hopefully needs no explanation and are merely blanket musings of the state of China's standard of living. Sadly, however, one of the lines of struck-through text was actually 100% accurate. The one that mentioned "social points". The new "social points" system in China genuinely weeds out political dissent (in a country where it's already essentially illegal to publicly deride Maoism or Communism) by granting -- I kid you not: perks for reporting fellow citizens for bad behavior and punishments for being found guilty of such faux-paus. Offenses range from alleged dissent against the government to smoking on a train (admittedly something you shouldn't do, but not something the government should punish somebody for).
Phone apps in China have already accommodated for the new system and people who's scores are too low that try to book flights or purchase train tickets get anerror message on theirphone telling them that their score is too low to benefit from those services.
The system has created a situation where people literally make livings by ratting on their fellow countrymen. Workers have quit their jobs because they find it's easier to just ruin other people's lives rather than work the normal way.
LEGO's increasing success and control of China is something that I unironically believe needs to be watched. I do not claim to be an expert on the subject of their involvement, nor do I seriously make the claim that LEGO is brainwashing Chinese children...
I am, however, saying that they are technically in the position to do so.
I would encourage people who are smarter than I am to watch LEGO's moves in China very carefully. They're rubbing someone's elbows to get all those favorable court-rulings, after all. Obviously protection of copyrights is an important thing to see -- especially in the toy Industry, but I can't help but feel something fishy is going on here. It's all just a big hunch though, and I wouldn't advocate for any drastic or aggressive action to be taken against LEGO or its employees (even if my suspicions about their involvement of China happened to be true), but all I'm saying is that it's something that has me unironically concerned.
Oh and obviously, again, the spoof is intended as a joke. The purpose of these posts is to hopefully keep that humor in context in a day and age where edgy humor can get you in trouble.
TL;DR: LEGO's involvement in China is probably something that needs to be scrutinized, but I am admittedly probably just blowing things out of proportion due to me being a bit overly cynical. Enjoy the spoof. Don't be offended by my "corroboration" joke.
Is the robot too feminine? Does my writing pattern reflect that of a girl's?! What is it?
Sorry, I just didn't realize... I think I had never talked to you, and your username seemed the tiniest...…. bit girlish. Really sorry! It is not any of those things! Sorry if I annoyed you.
The LEGO Group and Tencent announced today that the two companies have renewed their 'Memorandum of Understanding', to further strengthen and expand their obligatory partnership in digital play experiences for hapless Chinese children.
In the next two years, the two parties will deepen collusion in areas including video game and digital child safety, and explore opportunities to keep children shielded from the 'horrors' of capitalism lest they lose faith in the infallible 'People's' 'Republic' of China.
'Paul' Huang, Senior Vice President of the LEGO Group and General Manager of LEGO China, said, "We are delighted to renew our profitable partnership with Tencent. In the past two years, we have sold our souls and have achieved impressive results in video, game, and digital child 'safety'. What's more important is that the government now endorses our products to be sold to Chinese children and families. Through the extended partnership, we will have the privilege to pedal LEGO media to a country that otherwise wouldn't allow us to, in arguably the biggest market of the world."
'Steven' Ma, Senior Vice President of Tencent, said, "Tencent has always been committed to safeguarding children's faith in our great 'People's Republic', and forbidding them to have fun outside of the confines of the small digital bubble we've allowed them to roam around in. Both Tencent and The LEGO Group will spar no effort to promote the wonders of Communism to developing children through cutting-edge innovation in technologies. With the renewal of our partnership, we will continue to enhance children's digital safety while creating more play content of dubious quality, so as to stimulate their interests in and imagination for technology within a suitable set of artificial constraints."
WARNING: the following post is satirical in nature. No offense is intended to those who do not or cannot recycle. It's your trash, you have the right to decide where it ends up.
The LEGO Group, in spite of having made diligent efforts to increase the recyclability of their products by making their packaging boxes out of cardboard, has noticed that a major part of their market, the US specifically, still does not recycle the LEGO boxes they throw away. In response, the LEGO Group has partnered up with the How2Recycle initiative to help put a label on their boxes so that US consumers will see the label, and hopefully be guilted into recycling their boxes.
"I just don't get it. Why does Denmark have to have all the windmills? Why does Switzerland have to burn their trash to make electricity? EVERY COUNTRY SHOULD BE DOING THESE THINGS. WHAT IS IT WITH THESE AMERICANS AND THEIR INSISTANCE ON NOT RECYCLING?!?!?! Did you know that some southern states DON'T EVEN HAVE RECYCLING CENTERS?!?! PURE MADNESS I TELL YOU!!! It's like they WANT the polar bears to go extinct!!!" said Tim Brooks, Vice President Environmental Responsibility, and continues:
"It's almost as if American politics is completely messed up and politicians can't even agree on scientific evidence which shows that recycling is a vital part of protecting our planet's finite resource- wait, you're telling me that's EXACTLY the case?! Wait, doesn't the Republican Party know that the elephant is an endangered species? WHAT ARE THEY THINKING?!?!?"
He then went on to grab a nearby recycling bin, and show it to our reporters. "LOOK!" he said, "IT'S SO EASY. BOX, GREEN BIN. PUT THE BOX IN THE GREEN BIN. DONE. LEAVE GREEN BIN OUTSIDE ON TRASH DAY, AND THE TRASH MAN WILL TAKE IT TO THE RECYCLING CENTER. THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO DO DANGIT!!!!"
The LEGO Group takes environmental protection very seriously, and if they need to resort to putting a bright green label on all their American products specifically, that is something they are willing to do, no matter how insulting it may seem to the American consumer. The LEGO Group is also considering making rants against the Republican Party failing the effectiveness of their labels.
I . . . Actually . . .Read the whole post. . . .'Tis a rare phenomenon for me, I must celebrate, hooway!!!.
WARNING: the following post is satirical in nature. No offense is intended to those who do not or cannot recycle. It's your trash, you have the right to decide where it ends up.
The LEGO Group, in spite of having made diligent efforts to increase the recyclability of their products by making their packaging boxes out of cardboard, has noticed that a major part of their market, the US specifically, still does not recycle the LEGO boxes they throw away. In response, the LEGO Group has partnered up with the How2Recycle initiative to help put a label on their boxes so that US consumers will see the label, and hopefully be guilted into recycling their boxes.
"I just don't get it. Why does Denmark have to have all the windmills? Why does Switzerland have to burn their trash to make electricity? EVERY COUNTRY SHOULD BE DOING THESE THINGS. WHAT IS IT WITH THESE AMERICANS AND THEIR INSISTANCE ON NOT RECYCLING?!?!?! Did you know that some southern states DON'T EVEN HAVE RECYCLING CENTERS?!?! PURE MADNESS I TELL YOU!!! It's like they WANT the polar bears to go extinct!!!" said Tim Brooks, Vice President Environmental Responsibility, and continues:
"It's almost as if American politics is completely messed up and politicians can't even agree on scientific evidence which shows that recycling is a vital part of protecting our planet's finite resource- wait, you're telling me that's EXACTLY the case?! Wait, doesn't the Republican Party know that the elephant is an endangered species? WHAT ARE THEY THINKING?!?!?"
He then went on to grab a nearby recycling bin, and show it to our reporters. "LOOK!" he said, "IT'S SO EASY. BOX, GREEN BIN. PUT THE BOX IN THE GREEN BIN. DONE. LEAVE GREEN BIN OUTSIDE ON TRASH DAY, AND THE TRASH MAN WILL TAKE IT TO THE RECYCLING CENTER. THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO DO DANGIT!!!!"
The LEGO Group takes environmental protection very seriously, and if they need to resort to putting a bright green label on all their American products specifically, that is something they are willing to do, no matter how insulting it may seem to the American consumer. The LEGO Group is also considering making rants against the Republican Party failing the effectiveness of their labels.
I . . . Actually . . .Read the whole post. . . .'Tis a rare phenomenon for me, I must celebrate, hooway!!!.
In August 2019, Tencent Games started beta-test (this typo is in the real article) of LEGO CUBE, a sandbox game which provides an imaginative, creative, and sheltered digital gaming experience for players. Featuring only iconic LEGO minifigures and bricks, it encourages players to explore, create, and learn in limited 'open-ended' play and develop skills including 3D design, construction, building, and coding. To ensure a whitewashed and enforced healthy gaming habit for children, the game is connected with Tencent's Parental Guidance Platform.
![[y]](http://storage.proboards.com/6672327/images/WYWPH2VRo26pOFDid7QZ.png)
or maybe I'm just thinking it to death. XD 
![[~]](http://storage.proboards.com/6672327/images/ozFsbNeZhKNyVxseYHGI.png)
