So this little dude had a mom but before I tell you about her I'm gonna tell you what exactly a little dude is cause they're basically nonexistent these days so you probably don't know. Little dudes are really little, like twice as little as most average dudes. They're even smaller than short dudes, who have rad beards. Little dudes don't have rad beards, or any rad powers, besides super-sneakiness, cause they are pretty darn sneaky. They could hear you walking from a mile away and hide in a jiffy. They're normally pretty fat and flashy and barefoot (cuz their feet are super tough and fuzzy) and long-fingered and friendly-looking and they laugh really loudly (especially after they've had their two dinners). So that's basically all you need to know about little dudes. Anyhoo, this little dude was named Bilboy Swaggins and his mom was the famous Prettydonna Taken, and she was one of the three daughters of Old-Guy Taken, the most important of all the little dudes that lived on the other side of The Water. Oh, The Water was the nearby water, in case you were wondering. Lots of non-Taken little dudes said that the Takens had a fairy ancestor but that's stupid because fairies aren't real you silly goose. But either way the Takens were kind of a little less swaggy than the other little dudes and every once in a while one of them would have an adventure! (not swaggy) They were always super-duper secret, and the other Takens pretended it hadn't happened but it had and rumors spread, making the Takens a lot less swaggy than the Swagginses, even though they had more cash money.
    Of course, Prettydonna Taken never had any adventures, at least not after she married Bungoy Swaggins. He was Bilboy's dad and he made a super-swaggy little dude's hole for her (using her cash money), that was the most swaggy hole in the world. And even though Bilboy looked and acted a lot like Bungoy, he still had a lot of Taken-y-ness in him that never got a chance to show its unswagginess. At least not until Bilboy was 50 years old and it looked like he had permanently settled down in his dad's super-swaggy little dude's hole.

To Be Continued...

    One morning long ago back when the world was swaggier and little dudes were still all over the place, and Bilboy Swaggins was standing outside his little dude's hole after breakfast blowing bubbles out of his Super-Long, Super-Swaggy Bubble-Blowing Stick (TM) that reached all the way down to his swaggy little toes, Gandank just happened to come by. Gandank! If you knew just a teensy-weensy bit of all the super-rad stories I've heard about him (which is only a teensy-weensy bit of all the super-rad stories there are to hear about him) you would be buckling your seatbelts for a super-rad story. Cool stuff happened all the time whenever he was around. He hadn't been near The Hill for a really long time, not since Old-Guy Taken had died, and all the little dudes had forgotten about him and his dank memes, since he hadn't been in the area since they were all little kiddos.
    All Bilboy saw was an old dude with a gnarly stick, a dope hat, a swaggy outfit, and a scarf for some reason. He also had a super-long beard that made him look significantly less swaggy, and also really expensive shoes.
    "'Sup bro!" said Bilboy, and he meant it. It was a swaggy day. But Gandank just stared at him.
    "Whaddaya mean, 'Wassup bro?'" he said. "Do you ask me what's going on in my life, or do you mean that there is a lot going on in my life whether I want to tell you about it or not; or do you feel like there is a lot going on in life in general today; or that at this very moment you would like to know what exactly there is above me?"
    "Whoa, that's deep," said Bilboy. "Well, anyway I just think it's a pretty swaggy day to blow bubbles outside. So if you have a bubble-blowing stick come and join me and I'll let you use some of my bubble soap! We've got all day to sit here and blow bubbles if we want to!" Then Bilboy sat down on his lawn chair and crossed his legs and blew out a beautiful burst of bubbles that flew away over the hill without popping.