Yup. I've decided to try comedy again. Hopefully it's actually funny. So without further adieu, here we go!
EPISODE 1! A Link Between Worlds?
*A teenage girl by the username of Zaneandelsa is clicking through posts on her favorite sight- the LEGO Message Boards. She has just hit "send" on a witty comment to her favorite story, when she gets the most marvelous idea. All these worlds, interests, coming into one...a "multiverse," so to speak. She smiles and begins typing.*
*It starts off as a blank canvas, and then pop! In the blink of an eye, there is a whole multitude of worlds to explore! Let's start with Hyrule, because why not.*
*We enter Hyrule. Hylians ride on horses' backs, lifting their shining swords in triumph. Strong, peaceful Gorons enjoy their brotherhood by feasting on the finest rocks and dancing. Smooth as silk, fish-like Zora glide along the waters of the rivers, and elfin Kokiri chat and trade in the forests. A young man named Link, the trademark "silent protagonist," sits on a boulder and sharpens his sword on a small, sharp rock. We hear him humming to himself as he works.*
Link: Hmm hmm hmm~
*But wait! Is that a Deku Scrub? He pauses his daily activity of, er...shooting nuts from its mouth...to chat with Link.*
Scrub: Hey, green guy.
Link: Hm?
Scrub: Got any spare Rupees? I'll trade you, hmm...a bigger Bomb Bag for...50!
Link: *Thinks for a moment, then nods and hands him 50 green, gem-like elements of currency.*
Scrub: *hands him the bag*
Link: *Looks at the bag in his hands when he realizes it's even smaller than the standard* *Did he just get...conned...?* Huff... *He looks up, the gleam of anger in his eyes.*
*The Deku Scrub runs away, over rivers, through woods, to Grandmother's...er...anyway, the coward finally finds a safe place...or is it? The door that seemed at first to lead into an empty house, leads to...*
*...Inkopolis. The Scrub becomes a sea urchin, and can be seen by the Inklings around the city, and especially fellow sea urchin Spyke.*
Spyke: Oi!
Urchin Scrub (idk ): Yeah?
Spyke: Never seen you before! C'mere, lemme 'ave a butcher's at ya.
Urchin Scrub: What? Can't a guy move into town without being inspected?
Spyke: *squints* Ah, you're a strange one, arent'cha. You a new species?
Urchin Scrub: No, I'm just new in town.
Spyke: Still, I'll 'ave ta keep an eye on ya. Don't want any more trouble comin' round here, yeah?
*The Urchin Scrub leaves to another alleyway, then feels in his pocket: the Rupees feel different, almost like flat, metal coins. He opens them up; they are; round, gold ones with holes in the middle. He puts them back in his- wait, he has a pocket? Now self-aware, he realizes he's wearing clothes. No wonder the guy in the alley was wearing a poncho...yep. He's definitely no longer a Deku Scrub. He chuckles. This is going to be great. No matter what world he's in, he can make trouble; he'll always blend in. He sees Spyke doing business with an Inkling, the native species; he watches him carefully. He sees that he tends to sell overpriced goods and copy them from others, but that's not "bad" enough. He needed a real trickster, someone who would go to even greater lengths...he chuckled. With a grin, he jumped into a manhole on the edge of town that he knew would lead to...*
PART 3: NEVER SHAKE HANDS WITH AN OCTOPUS! (Yup. I take a species that's usually just kinda shady/tricky in that universe and make it plain evil. )
*...Octo Valley. Probably the baddest place there was in that universe. He just had to get in contact with the Octarian army, or...*
*...DJ Octavio. Perfect. He just has to climb to the top...sea urchins don't have ink. He huffs in disappointment, but finds that there are convenient platforms and ledges, and those puny Splatoon agents are just too lazy to find them.*
Urchin Scrub: Hopefully, this spicy DJ will lay the beats to get me what I want. Ah. Here we go.
*He goes into the manhole and finds DJ Octavio in the middle of a battle with that meddling Agent 3. Apparently, he doesn't have the time. But Urchin Scrub will do anything he can to get what he wants, even if it involves murd...er, splatting. So Urchin Scrub quietly approaches Agent 3 while she's busy.*
*Agent 3 turns around.*
A3: Hey! Isn't it too dangerous for a civilian here?
UScrub: Oh, I'm no civilian. *snatches her gun and splats her with it*
Octavio: *takes notice* What's up?
UScrub: She's not going to respawn, is she?
Octavio: That was her last life. We have time before that slimy little hipster gets in on us again.
UScrub: Okay, I'm looking to make a deal.
Octavio: I'm listenin'.
UScrub: I'd like you and your army to help me take over the universe.
Octavio: Take over the universe? Woah, that's an ear blaster ya gotta watch out for!
UScrub: The thing is, I'm planning a huge con. Something that will get me more money and power than anyone else, and I'll do whatever it takes to get it.
Octavio: Tell me more.
UScrub: Ya think you could lay down some funky beats and get your army out in the open? Threatening, brainwashing, whatever it takes.
Octavio: Sounds like a jam to me.
UScrub: Great. Get started as soon as you can.
*What they didn't know was that a young, defected Octoling was listening in. She put a walkie-talkie up to her mouth and spoke into it.*
Octoling: A3, this is A8. We have the wondrous problem onto our hands...
Episode 1 Part 3: Never Shake Hands with an Octopus! Part 2! (By the way, when Eight isn't speaking in broken English, she's speaking Octarian, the language of the Octolings.)
Agent 8: I am hoping greatly that DJ does not hear us. I am having a few others with me, and...
Agent 3: Is it open?
Agent 8: Ah...yes.
Agent 3: I'm there. Over and out.
Agent 8: Over and-
*Three hangs up.*
Agent 8: ...out?
*The Octoling stands up and puts a pair of dark shades (regular shades, not the Hypno-Shades Octavio requires his army wear) on in order to conceal her status as a defect.*
Eight: *in Octarian* I need to go.
*She joins the line of fellow Octolings and mimics their emotionless march until she can escape. An Elite follows her.*
Elite: Psst! It's me!
Eight: Huh...?
Elite: Rebekah! Rebekah Sasaki?
Eight: Rebekah? Oh.
Rebekah: I'm glad we got away before anyone else noticed. Is Three here yet?
Eight: I'm not sure. She said she would be here, but it may take a while.
Rebekah: I'll call up Four. She should be readily available.
Eight: Yes, thank you, please do. I need to think of a way to work in secret...
Rebekah: No one is at the dormitories, Eight. We can talk there.
Eight: Of course.
Rebekah: Or we can find somewhere in Inkopolis. Since we're on Three's side now, we should be able to get out of here by getting splatted.
Eight: That's a terrible idea. We should stay with the dorms.
*They open the door to the dormitories. Rebekah leads Eight in and they sit together.*
Rebekah: So I heard rumors that that guy isn't actually a sea urchin. He's something called a "deku scrub," and they shoot nuts and seeds out of their mouths to attack. Most of them just attack to get your attention, but this guy seems different. Apparently he tricked a "Hylian" named "Link" into giving him all his money thinking he'd get better bomb storage, and he got TINY bomb storage and an empty wallet!
Eight: Hy...li...an...? But what is a "deku?"
Rebekah: Sounds like some sort of plant. I was eavesdropping to see if I could gather any information. Fortunately, they seemed to think I was just being annoying. *giggles* I kinda played along. Apparently the land is "Hyrule?"
Eight: Whoever these "Hylians" are, we need to protect them!
*Rebekah and Eight leave the dorms. Four joins them, and Three has just arrived. The agents find an exit to Octo Valley for now, only to find themselves in a strange city filled with humans.*
Three: Surely that urchin creep hasn't gotten here yet.
Four: He's probably busy planning with Octavio. We have time.
Eight: Hopeful.
Rebekah: *in English* Excuse me, sir!
*A young blond man turns around and nods to her.*
Blondie: *in an accent akin to Spyke's, but a bit less over-the-top* Welcome to London. How may I be of assistance?
Rebekah: Hello! We sort of just ended up here, but I was wondering, ah...
Blond: Ah, I've seen your lot around. There've been a bit more than usual lately.
Rebekah: How did you-
Blond: I've been helping them for a while now. It's almost become sort of a job of mine, aside from the daily grind of course. Ah, name's Chad, by the way. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.
Rebekah: It's a pleasure to meet you too. Look, this sounds silly, but we kinda have no idea where we are.
Agent 3: *in Inkling* Four, are you getting any of this?
Four: Nope. We weren't expecting any of this, of course. Hopefully Bekah can translate...
Rebekah: Do you think you can help us?
Chad: Ah, of course. You are in the town of Woodwind Park, region of Greater London, country of England. I assume you are in the very distant past, given the information I've picked up.
*Rebekah translates in Inkling to the others. They nod in understanding. Chad watches, possibly attempting to pick up on their strange speech patterns.*
Rebekah: So according to Chad, there should be an Inkling named Joy who speaks English well. Unfortunately, she isn't well-versed in Octarian, but you should be able to understand her, Eight.
*Eight nods.*
Chad: I think I know where she might be hanging around. There is a small book and music store around here that she often visits.
*The five of them go to find Joy. She is leaning against the wall of a used bookstore with headphones on, softly nodding her head to the beat. Rebekah gently lifts her left headphone to get her attention.*
*Joy takes notice, opening one eye. She smiles a bit.*
Joy: Good to know more of our kind ended up here. What's up?
Rebekah: You've been here for a while, right?
Joy: Longer than any other 'ling, I suppose.
Rebekah: Can you help us?
Joy: Where ya headed?
Rebekah: Since I'm guessing we can't really go back to Inkopolis at the moment, I don't know.
Joy: So you want to get back to Inkopolis?
Rebekah: ...Yeah.
Joy: There should be another door somewhere that leads out of here, but who knows where it goes? *looks around for a moment* Hey...where did you come in?
Rebekah: I think we came in through that open manhole over there - *points behind her* - although it seems like it's always somewhere we would think of as a safe or isolated place.
Joy: There's a recently closed-down shop right down the block. The door is still unlocked, which is peculiar. We should be able to go through there.
*They oblige. They find themselves in their world, yes, but in a secret Octarian facility. A female, cyan Inkling, wearing a college sweater and a beanie, seems to be in there, confused and scared. She is joined by more Inklings and Octolings, as well as humans, other sea creatures, robots, and sentient beings they can't even identify. The facility is huge, and the captives seem to be from all different worlds. They're all terrified, angry, confused.*
Joy: Um...it was a sea urchin, right?
All Splatoon captives: Yes, yes!
Cyan Inkling: No other urchin would've done that, I swear! He even took my Inkbrush... *pouts*
Zelda (LoZ): I thought I saw a Business Scrub take me away. It was incredibly confusing!
*Link nods.*
Princess Peach: It was a very aggressive Toad, I just know it!
Rebekah: I think I overheard the Urchin talking about shapeshifting...
Lloyd (Ninjago): Well, whoever he is, he just poked a bear. We're getting out of here. *tries to melt the bars, falls weak to the ground* Vengestone...
*The other Ninja hang their heads in despondence.*
*Inklings shake and bang at the bars, but they're knocked back and the cell begins to fill with water. Link attempts to slash at them with his sword, but it bounces off and flies out of his hand. It's almost like this dastardly shapeshifter knows their weaknesses.*
): Yeah?