Jonmbost
Revolutionary Soldier
Posts: 15,785 
LEGO Message Boards Username: jonmbost
Favorite LEGO theme: Ninjago!
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0
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14,156
Jonmbost
I'm alive. :P
15,785
Sept 26, 2017 23:28:12 GMT
September 2017
jonmbost
jonmbost
Ninjago!
Yes
{/if}
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Post by Jonmbost on Feb 28, 2018 23:22:25 GMT
So . . . I have this story called "Daughter of the First Spinjitzu Master," and this is a topic for LordTigress, MockingbirdInc, and me to discuss it! ![[derp]](http://storage.proboards.com/6672327/images/YqNTPqyQUocVMYXZgUAI.png) Please don't look below this if you're not them, as you'd get serious spoilers.  |
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LordTigress
Pilot
Posts: 26,757 
LEGO Message Boards Username: lordtigress
Favorite LEGO theme: Ninjago
Previously on the LMBs?: Yes
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Apr 25, 2024 20:28:32 GMT
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LordTigress
vibing
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lordtigress
lordtigress
Ninjago
Yes
{/if}
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Post by LordTigress on Mar 2, 2018 9:24:38 GMT
All right, great!  So, did you have any questions in particular you wanted to ask MockingbirdInc and I about the story? Or would you rather we first gave you our thoughts about what we read?
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MockingbirdInc
Revolutionary Soldier
Posts: 15,279
LEGO Message Boards Username: MockingbirdInc
Favorite LEGO theme: The one with those ninja, I think.
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MockingbirdInc
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Apr 11, 2017 18:06:17 GMT
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mockingbirdinc
MockingbirdInc
The one with those ninja, I think.
Yes
{/if}
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Post by MockingbirdInc on Mar 2, 2018 21:17:50 GMT
If memory serves, I don't think there was anything to stick out at me to change other than some simple wording choices.  So far, it sounds pretty good to me. ![[y]](http://storage.proboards.com/6672327/images/WYWPH2VRo26pOFDid7QZ.png)
What exactly do you need assistance in with planned? 
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Jonmbost
Revolutionary Soldier
Posts: 15,785
LEGO Message Boards Username: jonmbost
Favorite LEGO theme: Ninjago!
Previously on the LMBs?: Yes
inherit
423
0
May 15, 2021 20:03:49 GMT
14,156
Jonmbost
I'm alive. :P
15,785
Sept 26, 2017 23:28:12 GMT
September 2017
jonmbost
jonmbost
Ninjago!
Yes
{/if}
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Post by Jonmbost on Mar 12, 2018 19:18:23 GMT
All right, great!  So, did you have any questions in particular you wanted to ask MockingbirdInc and I about the story? Or would you rather we first gave you our thoughts about what we read? 
I suppose thoughts . . . I've actually written some more.
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Jonmbost
Revolutionary Soldier
Posts: 15,785
LEGO Message Boards Username: jonmbost
Favorite LEGO theme: Ninjago!
Previously on the LMBs?: Yes
inherit
423
0
May 15, 2021 20:03:49 GMT
14,156
Jonmbost
I'm alive. :P
15,785
Sept 26, 2017 23:28:12 GMT
September 2017
jonmbost
jonmbost
Ninjago!
Yes
{/if}
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Post by Jonmbost on Mar 12, 2018 19:21:23 GMT
I'd like help with wording choices too, I suppose.
Well, so I suppose I should say what I was going to say:
Clouse gives Emerald to the Anacondrai, and Krux and Acronix capture her, and they accidently make a time vortex with their powers, and Emerald goes through the time vortex before Krux and Acronix about a month earlier than the Time Twins. I was originally planning for her to help the ninja, but then I decided that it would be great if she was Harumi! So I planned out the scene when the Royal Family found her.
Of course, the Harumi part is either ruined if I still want her to be a hero, or I could just do my story about her pain and whatnot.
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LordTigress
Pilot
Posts: 26,757
LEGO Message Boards Username: lordtigress
Favorite LEGO theme: Ninjago
Previously on the LMBs?: Yes
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Apr 25, 2024 20:28:32 GMT
47,345
LordTigress
vibing
26,757
August 2017
lordtigress
lordtigress
Ninjago
Yes
{/if}
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Post by LordTigress on Mar 12, 2018 20:58:02 GMT
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Jonmbost
Revolutionary Soldier
Posts: 15,785
LEGO Message Boards Username: jonmbost
Favorite LEGO theme: Ninjago!
Previously on the LMBs?: Yes
inherit
423
0
May 15, 2021 20:03:49 GMT
14,156
Jonmbost
I'm alive. :P
15,785
Sept 26, 2017 23:28:12 GMT
September 2017
jonmbost
jonmbost
Ninjago!
Yes
{/if}
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Post by Jonmbost on Mar 13, 2018 21:52:31 GMT
Was my poem good?
(I gathered from your like. )
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LordTigress
Pilot
Posts: 26,757
LEGO Message Boards Username: lordtigress
Favorite LEGO theme: Ninjago
Previously on the LMBs?: Yes
inherit
400
0
Apr 25, 2024 20:28:32 GMT
47,345
LordTigress
vibing
26,757
August 2017
lordtigress
lordtigress
Ninjago
Yes
{/if}
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Post by LordTigress on Mar 14, 2018 15:53:00 GMT
Was my poem good?
(I gathered from your like.  ) |
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Jonmbost
Revolutionary Soldier
Posts: 15,785
LEGO Message Boards Username: jonmbost
Favorite LEGO theme: Ninjago!
Previously on the LMBs?: Yes
inherit
423
0
May 15, 2021 20:03:49 GMT
14,156
Jonmbost
I'm alive. :P
15,785
Sept 26, 2017 23:28:12 GMT
September 2017
jonmbost
jonmbost
Ninjago!
Yes
{/if}
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Post by Jonmbost on Mar 14, 2018 20:22:24 GMT
Was my poem good?
(I gathered from your like. )
So, ideas on whether to just do it on Harumi and basically transform my story into a story about how she felt, or a nice story about a hero who helps the ninja like it was originally going to be? (I was going to have her be Samurai X, but that didn't turn out. . . .) |
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LordTigress
Pilot
Posts: 26,757
LEGO Message Boards Username: lordtigress
Favorite LEGO theme: Ninjago
Previously on the LMBs?: Yes
inherit
400
0
Apr 25, 2024 20:28:32 GMT
47,345
LordTigress
vibing
26,757
August 2017
lordtigress
lordtigress
Ninjago
Yes
{/if}
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Post by LordTigress on Mar 15, 2018 12:44:03 GMT
*looks back at file* Oh, yeah, well done there! That was a nice touch -- give the reader a little shiver as they begin.
So, ideas on whether to just do it on Harumi and basically transform my story into a story about how she felt, or a nice story about a hero who helps the ninja like it was originally going to be? (I was going to have her be Samurai X, but that didn't turn out. . . .)
But, back to the original question: when do you want the main portion of the story to take place? |
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Jonmbost
Revolutionary Soldier
Posts: 15,785
LEGO Message Boards Username: jonmbost
Favorite LEGO theme: Ninjago!
Previously on the LMBs?: Yes
inherit
423
0
May 15, 2021 20:03:49 GMT
14,156
Jonmbost
I'm alive. :P
15,785
Sept 26, 2017 23:28:12 GMT
September 2017
jonmbost
jonmbost
Ninjago!
Yes
{/if}
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Post by Jonmbost on Mar 16, 2018 0:58:35 GMT
Oh good, that's what I wanted.
So, ideas on whether to just do it on Harumi and basically transform my story into a story about how she felt, or a nice story about a hero who helps the ninja like it was originally going to be? (I was going to have her be Samurai X, but that didn't turn out. . . .)
But, back to the original question: when do you want the main portion of the story to take place? |
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LordTigress
Pilot
Posts: 26,757
LEGO Message Boards Username: lordtigress
Favorite LEGO theme: Ninjago
Previously on the LMBs?: Yes
inherit
400
0
Apr 25, 2024 20:28:32 GMT
47,345
LordTigress
vibing
26,757
August 2017
lordtigress
lordtigress
Ninjago
Yes
{/if}
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Post by LordTigress on Mar 16, 2018 15:19:05 GMT
Well, I suppose that depends on what you want the end result to be. Or, to be more specific, when. Would you like the Daughter's main part of her story to take place during the current timeline? an earlier time period when the ninja were just beginning their missions? Or even further back in time, when Wu and Garmadon were young? As a daughter of the FSM, I'd think the girl would experience a close connection to her brothers and perhaps Misako, and logically I'd assume that much of the story of their relationship would take place during their earlier years.
But, back to the original question: when do you want the main portion of the story to take place? |
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Jonmbost
Revolutionary Soldier
Posts: 15,785
LEGO Message Boards Username: jonmbost
Favorite LEGO theme: Ninjago!
Previously on the LMBs?: Yes
inherit
423
0
May 15, 2021 20:03:49 GMT
14,156
Jonmbost
I'm alive. :P
15,785
Sept 26, 2017 23:28:12 GMT
September 2017
jonmbost
jonmbost
Ninjago!
Yes
{/if}
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Post by Jonmbost on Mar 16, 2018 16:13:01 GMT
It looks like @henny4315 wants some spoilers. |
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Jonmbost
Revolutionary Soldier
Posts: 15,785
LEGO Message Boards Username: jonmbost
Favorite LEGO theme: Ninjago!
Previously on the LMBs?: Yes
inherit
423
0
May 15, 2021 20:03:49 GMT
14,156
Jonmbost
I'm alive. :P
15,785
Sept 26, 2017 23:28:12 GMT
September 2017
jonmbost
jonmbost
Ninjago!
Yes
{/if}
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Post by Jonmbost on Mar 16, 2018 16:29:49 GMT
As I said to Mock, I was having her come out of the Temporal Vortex before season 7, but I could make it so she came out earlier. |
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LordTigress
Pilot
Posts: 26,757
LEGO Message Boards Username: lordtigress
Favorite LEGO theme: Ninjago
Previously on the LMBs?: Yes
inherit
400
0
Apr 25, 2024 20:28:32 GMT
47,345
LordTigress
vibing
26,757
August 2017
lordtigress
lordtigress
Ninjago
Yes
{/if}
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Post by LordTigress on Mar 17, 2018 6:09:09 GMT
It looks like @henny4315 wants some spoilers. |
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So, did you have any questions in particular you wanted to ask 
So, did you have any questions in particular you wanted to ask 
Well, from what I read, I thought that was a good beginning for your story; you quickly introduced a conflict -- that being the warning the Writers of Destiny gave to the First Spinjitzu Master -- that would catch the interest of potential readers. That's always a good start. 
)
)