The ice cream machine was broken. I don’t think I’d ever been that disappointed. All of a sudden, lunch wasn’t worth having. I eyed the absolutely massive dining hall and realized that despite its immensity there was no spot for me. I ended up sitting by an unused trash can. Real convenience is not having to get up to throw away your plate.
After I finished I just kind of sat there and reviewed the day so far. I didn’t get too far in before I just kind of died inside and realized maybe I should just forget today ever happened. Then I realized today wasn’t over, and figured that move might be a bit premature. And then I kind of whimpered for a while.
I wasn’t low on sleep, but all I wanted to do was curl up in a corner and sleep. Hopefully people here had the decency to not wake a sleeping man. They’d probably assume I was a hobo. This was a bit of a conspicuous place for a hobo to end up, though, so I eventually found my way back to class.
I was late. It didn’t matter, the new kid vibe thing hadn’t worn off yet. I’d have probably one full week before anybody could like legally get mad at me.
The afternoon period dragged on till three. Only two hours, but it felt like eternity. I was free now! I spent the last half an hour retracing my steps in my brain that way I could get out of here in the minimum time required. Hopefully August was on time.
Then, as if today couldn’t get any worse, the teacher mentioned the Echelon, and training or something, and I realized I was not fated to be done and out of here before they had sucked up at least half my day. And my days are four hours longer than everybody else’s.
I kind of zombie-walked with the crowd to the training facility part of the building. Turns out it was huge and rather impressive, but my brain just kind of blocked it out. I’d save the awe for a day when I could really appreciate it.
I didn’t get to go play with the other kids. That was the first good thing that had happened all day to me.
Instead, it was evaluation time.
It was all kind of stupid, and rather embarrassing. Here I was, standing at six foot and then some, of fairly good build, and I was so out of shape it wasn’t funny. You see, there wasn’t much call for action in my lifestyle back home, and mixed with my metal limbs, I just never really saw the point.
I was purposefully pathetic.
“You sure you can’t do another push-up?” The trainer standing over me asked, disgusted by my flabby flappy previous attempts.
“Nope.” I said. “I simply lack the willpower.”
“I don’t think you’re trying your hardest.”
“I like to think I’d be doing better if I had ice cream for lunch.” I said. “Something about eating ice cream always makes me want to exercise afterwards.”
He just shook his head in despair, and made a mark on his sheet.
The kids in my class stared at me like I was from another planet. Life had been discovered in three neighboring systems, but I didn’t look remotely like an alien, even with my metal limbs (which none of them had seen even). The introduction hadn’t helped.
“This is Nathan.” The teacher had said. “He has never set foot inside a classroom before, so don’t beat him up or anything.”
I refrained from standing atop a chair and yelling “IT’S NATE ACTUALLY.” The thought did cross my mind, though.
The person sitting next to me kind of gave me a cocked look that let me know I was her new science experiment, and I felt something wash over me. It made me want to convulse. Unfortunately for me, only half my body was programmed to properly convulse, so it’s kind of an awkward sight. I stifled it.
The teacher kind of left me out of every exercise till the lunchbreak, and then called me over before I could make good my escape. “Nathan, can we talk?”
“I think you just successfully demonstrated your ability to do so.” I said.
She didn’t get my sarcasm. That was okay. As long as people didn’t get my sarcasm I’d be okay. Once they did, it’d be kind of wasted.
“Look, how do you want me to treat you?” She asked.
“To ice cream, preferably.”
“You can get some of that at the cafeteria.” She waved her hand.
All of a sudden, school seemed worth it.
“I mean, how would you like me to integrate you? How much of the material this morning did you understand?”
I shrugged. “I was doing okay up till ‘guys, this is Nathan,’ and then I kind of lost it.”
“I’m going to give you a truckload of books to take home. How does that sound?”
“Wonderful.” I said, imaging the stacking and fire-starting possibilities that many books presented.
“All on this.” She held up an electric device.
That presented a lot less possibilities.
She held up a paper manual. “This’ll help you get the hang of it.”
I brightened back up. As long as I got to burn something.
“Okay, I’ll transfer all the books by tonight. Be back here by one, Nathan.”
“It’s Nate.” I said.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” She said, but didn’t make a note.
I had forty-five minutes left to locate lunch. I hurried outside, and instantly got dragged along in a current of bodies that could only be compared with the rapids in the Grand Canyon. I was squeezed, buffeted, and ultimately spit out into a side room to escape the crush. I adjusted my glove as I stood there in the semi dark, trying to compose myself before facing the horde again. Then I noticed a kid who was sitting in the corner staring at me cold and hard.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize this was your cell.” I said, and left. I don’t try and understand people. I dare them to try and understand me.
The ice cream machine was broken. I don’t think I’d ever been that disappointed. All of a sudden, lunch wasn’t worth having.
******
“You sure you can’t do another push-up?” The trainer standing over me asked, disgusted by my flabby flappy previous attempts.
“Nope.” I said. “I simply lack the willpower.”
“I don’t think you’re trying your hardest.”
“I like to think I’d be doing better if I had ice cream for lunch.” I said. “Something about eating ice cream always makes me want to exercise afterwards.”
He just shook his head in despair, and made a mark on his sheet.
“Huh, well, you always were a bit of badger.” He swished the remains of his drink around in his glass. “Cooped up in that hole.”
I didn’t deign to reply. I honestly didn’t care for the guy all that much. But I liked him more than most. He knew how to keep his mouth shut.
It was a good five minutes before I made the next comment. “There was a jostle on the leaderboard. What’s the news?”
“Chovacs and Frinks are at it again.” He said, referring to the number one and two. “They both kept their main men out of it, though. There was a dinner party turned terrible. Turns out about half the people attending had an intended victim. Heads rolled.”
“Anybody I’d know?”
“Personally, no.” He pulled out a pocketknife and started to doodle on the wood counter. “By reputation, yeah, probably. Majolo9050 and Captain Norris.”
“That’s big.”
“Eh, they were dispensable. Ultra ain’t coping though, so something’s about to go down.”
“Ultra?”
“You really do live under a rock.”
I shrugged. “Guess you can tell me all about it next time.” I stood up to go.
“You never ordered anything!” He protested.
“I don’t spend money on virtual drinks.”
“Not even virtual money?” He called after me, but I ignored him.
“Next time, Boomer.”
“I just can’t wait.” He threw back at me, but I was already out the door.
I'm talking his old skull-face avatar. It meshes well with the game.
OOoohhhh you mean the one I don't remember, okay yeap I know the one.
Did you know Boomer back on the old MBs? It was his avatar pretty much the whole time I knew him, I think. The spiky black hair, the skull face and red jacket.
What’s his end of the deal? 
At least you have a sombrero. 
The sombrero is its only redeeming attribute.