"have trouble being separated". Those are strong words. I'm sorry to hear that you have such difficulties. I suppose that you greatly enjoy talking to those around you, but what else do you enjoy with them? Cooking? Board games? Exploring places and trying new things? I'm just curious as to what you draw from that closeness and what is so painfully separating for you.
Hmm. I cannot claim that my thought process is either "new" or especially "different". If anything it is cultivated with the thoughts of others, and when I find a new feeling in myself I learn that others have felt it before me. At the very least I may admit that I have dug to some uneventful depth, but only with tools that have be used and sharpened before and no deeper than others as of yet. I am not especially exercised in thinking or reading. I spin a few words a day and call it good, but it is not special. Perhaps it is perfectionism speaking on my behalf, although I think it is closer to something worse, a kind of perfection idealistic mixture. I do crave very much to do so very much with words, yet find my words, really their sum together, so very inadequate. No, not inadequate, surely I have words adequate for the work I wish, it is something else. Something else missing, perhaps time to mature and cast a harder alloy of words to pierce what barrier there may be. Sometimes I see the edges, and sometimes I feel the core, but to arrive I have not yet become.
Continued in next post…
I can be alone, I just don't enjoy it much. All of the above! I just love the actuality of being with someone else. I'll talk, I'll play chess, walk, explore, bake, bike ride, play soccer, paint, ect. I enjoy the activity more when I'm doing it with someone else. But I just like to connect with people. Sometimes I see them a little differently than most do. Perhaps it has something to do with how my mind works. I'm pack minded, I read body language and am interested in the workings of the mind, that could be factoring in.
It is to me though. It feels different than other minds. (though that probably sounds incredibly weird idk how else to put it) Tis perfectionistic/idealistic indeed. You are more exercised in words and thoughts than most I've met. I agree with you. Though I have had pretty good grades all my life it was because I have been graced with time to understand certain aspects (i.e. math). I am average-good in English but I don't really relish it, which is considered strange by some since I love to write so much.
Crikey, well, your welcome then. ^-^ No fear, I'm the type that if I have something to say, you will hear it. XD We all should be allowed to wander in our minds sometimes. I think. The children that have been confined and strictly held to parroting what the have been taught have absolutely no imagination and no sense of adventure and thus, grow up in a stunted way. That in turn makes me sad, and makes me wish I could help them to rediscover themselves. Perhaps that is what is so different about your mind, I'll have to think on that… You are welcome, it brings me joy to make for others good things in life.
Pack-minded and socially rewarded during activities with others. I can see that. It's interesting how you attribute those traits to your interests in body language and psychology. I would think that such desires are something that one is naturally attentive to, or in others words is "born" into that place in the social hierarchy in the "pack". It is most often in life that one discovers ones place in a group early on and either accepts or rejects that place and acts accordingly.
Not enjoying Language studies really isn't unusual for one who writes. It is like the difference between the farmer and chef. The farmer tills the land, plants the seeds, may fertilize the group, and harvests the food. The chef picks the recipe, chooses the ingredients and the grade of ingredients, mixes or prepares the ingredients, cooks the food, plates and serves the food. Often one is either a farmer or one is a chef, and sometimes one may be both.
Thank you for assuring me that I'll hear it when you have something to say. I wouldn't want to dominate a conversation.
Sadly, nothing seems to stunt a good imagination like a formal education. Almost everyone young has a desire early on to explore and create, to discover the world anew. Too often these feels are bogged down and cut-down before they have much of a chance to take growth and thus before deeply frozen in a dormant state. It reminds me of a quote...
"It is not the nature of man - nor of any living entity - to start out by giving up... that requires a process of corruption whose rapidity differs from man to man. Some give up at the touch of pressure; some run down by imperceptible degrees and lose their fire, never knowing when or how they lost it... yet a few hold on and move on, knowing that that fire is not to be betrayed, learning how to give it shape, purpose and reality. But whatever their future, at the dawn of their lives,men seek a noble vision of man's nature and of life's potential... it does not matter that only a few in each generation will grasp and achieve the full reality of man's proper stature - and that the rest will betray it. It is those few that move the world and give life its meaning."
Too often the "fire" within is left to burn away because there is no fuel to feed it with. Hopelessness is all to common in schools. Rather than the joy of creation or discovery there is escapism into all kinds of modern entertainment media. Rather than devoting one's youth to the exploration and exercises of life, it is endless textbooks upon the subject that sicken a person rather than strengthen. At 13 Christopher Columbus was already sailing and as a young man Benjamin Franklin was beginning his studies by traveling Europe. He wrote poetry he shared with friends, learned to balance his student budget, and was living life. More more years are added to the life of the "student" without his or her study in anything really pertaining to good living. Pushed farther and farther back is the age that one is considered or considers one's self an adult and ready for life. Sadly, much of modern education causes the sorrow of unfruitful toil while only a short while ago (historically short, that is) people were building lives while at the same age people today are building student debt in both the pocketbook and the soul.
Aaaaaand, I’m finally all caught up. *Claps* Now I'm back to bury again. XD *slams my face down on my desk* BUT I JUST... *grabs pillow to bury my face in, then you hear a muffled scream*
*ahem* As I was saying, I just finished catching up on 65 pages, and you chose now to come back and write more? : | *tries to remain calm*
Don't hurt you face buddy! D:
Yep!! ^.^ You're very bright!
I'll try. ;-;
Grrrrrrr... -_- *mumbles something about unneeded sarcasm*
Good, face pain is often very bad to deal with. *hands you tissue*
Wazzat? You said untreated bark has him? You know I can't hear you when you mumble like that…
Roit. So anyone who cares to hear the long version of while I was gone.
We got up at 6 am and drove for ten hours to get to the camping site. Then I was on a video meeting with horrible internet until like 9:30 or so. We got finished setting up at like midnight. Then the next day we chilled and re-set up camp (since we accidentally didn't have all the stuff). We had beach access to the lake which was awesome! But the bathrooms/parkinglot were like a quarter mile away so I did a LOT of walking. XD I met this spectacularly beatiful tree names Lady Willow (if you think that's weird get over it I'm just me like that). Here. Sunrise from behind the branches. I got spider bit, but nothing else really bad thankfully. Though it rained the last day or two, but it was no big problem. My dad (and generally the rest of us) are experienced campers so we ate well from cast iron over the fire. And my dog was happy happy happy with all the wonderful things to sniff and extra time to nap. Pretty much the main reason I didn't sleep much was because periodically during the nights we would here the dog's dangerous noise (the one you listen to or else!) and he ended up dillo battling several times. The dillo's seiged us once, marching in the underbrush on all sides, and continued to skirt the camp just out of reach of the dog's chain. We also fished a ton (never caught anything but the fish's scorn). Then we half packed up and went to a meeting, got to see some friends, slept the last dillo ridden night and de-camped the next morning. Then we spent the rest of the day in the car again and unpacked the car at 10 pm. I slept 11 hours thursday to catch up. XD Been recharging since. We are incredible veterans at car trips by now. The only really sad thing was coming back and not getting that "I'm home now" feeling so much. Any questions and I'd love to answer them!
We went to the beach on tuesday which was awesome. I some how didn't get burned!! And I stayed up till two with my little sis and somehow staying up that late I managed to draw a really pretty horse. *shrugs* I promise I will get to writing my story soon I'm sorry. I have been adding more and ever more to my love to read list so yeah…been busy with that (not a great excuse I know). I also had two cups of caffine today so it's been interesting if nothing else! XD It's also been raining a lot. You're probably wondering why I'm babbling on and on and on and on and on and on…..cause I'm bored and felt like talking to somebody (or nobody if no one reads this). Don't get me wrong I like the rain actually. I like a lot of things. Ever had that moment when you're reading a book, and it's making you kind of mad or something….but it's making you feel something so you read it anyways? Everything I wanted and planned to say I totally forgot. I hate it when that happens. ;p Do you think…..is there a difference between icing and frosting maybe? I just realized today that no one here's every seen any of my artistic endeavors other that my stories. I absolutely love that thing, when you go to wash your plate and you tilt the dishsoap bottle sideways and squeeze it and a cloud of tiny bubbles shoot into the air around you and they smell amazing. I wonder now why kids complain about having to wash their dish, maybe they've never discovered this yet. I'm definitely coming down off that caffine now. XD I think…..I could go on more….but I'm done for now. This must have been a strange experience for you, reading this. I guess as I go we could do Random Factivia. 1) I'm considering dying some of my hair 2) I love baggy sweaters/hoodies escpecially if it's someone else's that I have….borrowed. (both my parents have lamented this and had to bravely reclaim theirs) 3) When I live alone I'm going nocturnal 4) I have braided all my hair into dreads on I think three occasions (yes it took forever and my hands cramped) 5) Warm sandwhiches are kind of gross You can thank the caffine and no sleep for an unedited experience in my brain….strange wasn't it…..
This is one of your more interesting posts yes, but I like it.
Boredom breeds strangeness. And strangeness is related to LMBE in all matters. At least it didn't freak you out too badly. XD Besides, I realized that despite how much I talk I often don't really say anything pertaining to reality.
And discuss hallucinations, marshmallows, pandas and other such normal topics. I mean, you could, but it'd be hard to find a basis for it, seeing as I'm topping the posts leaderboard still.
Precisely, thank goodness there are some sane people here *huffs*. I can't argue with that.
We need such people to keep us grounded in life. You got scarily close to my post count last week.