Prologue I stormed around my bedroom, every now and then running back to my laptop and gazing at it, while anathematizing under my breath. "Of all the luck!" I snapped at the laptop, as if the device was somehow to blame for my misfortune. I threw myself on the bed and gazed at the ceiling for a long while, till I calmed myself reasonably.
Then I rose, walked over to my desk, and picked up a half-full glass of water, and gulped it all down at once. Next I sat down at the desk, once more facing the laptop, and began to type, rather miserably.
You may think me quite mad, but logging into the LMBs brings such mixed and wild emotions into one as has never before been seen. Some of the most precious memories of my childhood occurred when logging into the LMBs. What old, sweet joys I had in those days, when I saw new, exciting topics, friends gaining ranks, and new replies. All of YOU have something else for that list, logging on to see a new, shiny Rank under your name. Not me. No, no, no. I hardly EVER had a new rank. You see, I was madly pacing about my room on this lovely spring day, muttering about my lack of a new rank. I had been Gladiator for two straight weeks! Imagine that! Two weeks of the ridiculous rank of Gladiator, for which I had no tolerance. Maybe some of you enjoy that Rank, it's weird, bizarre effect on the owner of it, but, oh, what a precious thing it must be to learn the effect of it! I owned this most wretched Rank, and I didn't want it. This whole story is that simple.
My actions were quite wild, and I am sure you will think me quite insane for hating this Rank, but, really...
Prologue I stormed around my bedroom, every now and then running back to my laptop and gazing at it, while anathematizing under my breath. "Of all the luck!" I snapped at the laptop, as if the device was somehow to blame for my misfortune. I threw myself on the bed and gazed at the ceiling for a long while, till I calmed myself reasonably.
Then I rose, walked over to my desk, and picked up a half-full glass of water, and gulped it all down at once. Next I sat down at the desk, once more facing the laptop, and began to type, rather miserably.
You may think me quite mad, but logging into the LMBs brings such mixed and wild emotions into one as has never before been seen. Some of the most precious memories of my childhood occurred when logging into the LMBs. What old, sweet joys I had in those days, when I saw new, exciting topics, friends gaining ranks, and new replies. All of YOU have something else for that list, logging on to see a new, shiny Rank under your name. Not me. No, no, no. I hardly EVER had a new rank. You see, I was madly pacing about my room on this lovely spring day, muttering about my lack of a new rank. I had been Gladiator for two straight weeks! Imagine that! Two weeks of the ridiculous rank of Gladiator, for which I had no tolerance. Maybe some of you enjoy that Rank, it's weird, bizarre effect on the owner of it, but, oh, what a precious thing it must be to learn the effect of it! I owned this most wretched Rank, and I didn't want it. This whole story is that simple.
My actions were quite wild, and I am sure you will think me quite insane for hating this Rank, but, really...
Chapter One (Note: the characters and other things in this story are real, but the story itself is false, and so are many things and elements in it)
I put on my work gloves with a sour taste. I hated garden work, and, oh, it was so awful outside. I stalked outside, walked to the vegetable garden, and sat on my knees, pulling weeds out vigorously. My jeans became quite muddy, and I was almost instantly entirely soaked.
It was a hot, rainy summer day. I had lied around the house all day, in front of fans, devouring popsicles, but I had been told to go outside and do some garden work, in the rain. It would cool me down, and I would get some work and exercise at the same time. But I was still hot, and the rain that came pouring down seemed warm. The next door neighbor kid, just eight years old, was waving around the garden hose, which he suddenly pointed right at me.
I rolled my eyes and glared at the kid. "Stop it!" I shouted.
He sprayed my face with ice-cold water, which felt good for only a few seconds. I rose and stalked over to the kid. "Just stop it!" The kid continued to spray me, so I stomped into the house, threw my work gloves on the dining room table, and ran upstairs. My window was open, but no breeze came in. At least the room wasn't stuffy. I sat at my desk and logged into the LMBs. Alas! Rank 4, Gladiator, still! When would it end? I slammed the laptop shut, got up, and went downstairs and ate a banana. You may think that quite an odd action, but I assure you, when you are irritated, frustrated, or upset, gulping down a banana can help, greatly. I went upstairs again, and went to the LMBs, where I immediately messaged Shamrock, one of the moderators. I asked him about my rank trouble, and then I closed the laptop, and began the long, annoying process of waiting.
Chapter One (Note: the characters and other things in this story are real, but the story itself is false, and so are many things and elements in it)
I put on my work gloves with a sour taste. I hated garden work, and, oh, it was so awful outside. I stalked outside, walked to the vegetable garden, and sat on my knees, pulling weeds out vigorously. My jeans became quite muddy, and I was almost instantly entirely soaked.
It was a hot, rainy summer day. I had lied around the house all day, in front of fans, devouring popsicles, but I had been told to go outside and do some garden work, in the rain. It would cool me down, and I would get some work and exercise at the same time. But I was still hot, and the rain that came pouring down seemed warm. The next door neighbor kid, just eight years old, was waving around the garden hose, which he suddenly pointed right at me.
I rolled my eyes and glared at the kid. "Stop it!" I shouted.
He sprayed my face with ice-cold water, which felt good for only a few seconds. I rose and stalked over to the kid. "Just stop it!" The kid continued to spray me, so I stomped into the house, threw my work gloves on the dining room table, and ran upstairs. My window was open, but no breeze came in. At least the room wasn't stuffy. I sat at my desk and logged into the LMBs. Alas! Rank 4, Gladiator, still! When would it end? I slammed the laptop shut, got up, and went downstairs and ate a banana. You may think that quite an odd action, but I assure you, when you are irritated, frustrated, or upset, gulping down a banana can help, greatly. I went upstairs again, and went to the LMBs, where I immediately messaged Shamrock, one of the moderators. I asked him about my rank trouble, and then I closed the laptop, and began the long, annoying process of waiting.
Chapter Two One week after my garden work I was lying in bed, hot and breathless. I decided the only way to cool myself would be to sit on the computer and drink pear cider. After almost waking everyone in the house by falling entirely down the stairs in the dark, I lay on the ground, moaning in pain. I banged my knee, oh, so hard, on that step. I limped to the kitchen and opened the fridge and hunted through it. I was pretty neat in my investigating. All I knocked over was a carton of sour cream (which cleaned up with soap and water) and some bologna. "What a bunch of baloney!" I muttered as I scooped up all the meat and tossed it in the trash can. Then I went back to the fridge (door hanging open for several minutes) and pulled out some bottle. It was dark, and I guessed it to be pear cider, so I poured some into a glass and took it upstairs.
I sat down at the desk and opened my laptop, where I loaded up LMBE. Shamrock had messaged me, I saw, so I clicked on it. "Hi, Stephanie. We do not seem to have any glitch that prevents users from ranking up. You can rank up from Posts, Post Views, Likes Given, and Likes Received. Remember that Ranks really don't matter terribly, we are all friends no matter what Rank we have. Happy posting!" I gritted my teeth is disgust! "Ranks do matter!" I hissed. I picked up my glass and took my first sip, a huge gulp, actually. I almost yelled, I was so surprised! "SPRITE! How on earth did I get Sprite instead of Pear Cider?!" I snapped at the glass. Oh....but what did anything matter anymore? I knew now I would never, ever ever get the next rank, and oh, I couldn't remember what the thing was called!
I drank a huge glass of Sprite while staring at my rank saying "No, no, no." Then I tried to go back to bed, but failed to sleep due to pain in my knee and to much caffeine from the soda.
Fortunately, it was Friday night, so I could sleep in the next day. And I slept in until 11:00! I woke up with an aching knee and threw myself at the desk to check my computer. First I checked my email, and saw an email from the Administrators of LMBE. "Stephanie, we are sorry to inform you that your account has been mistakenly de-activated. Our staff meant to de-activate the account of another user to ban them, but be accident banned yours. Fear not, you can create a new account with your same email account again, the only disadvantage is you will have to work through the ranks again."
Oh, the prestigious glory we go through in our high ranking accounts, our carefully selected avatars, and delicately coded signatures. All to crash and burn by a stupid Administrator's mistake!
Chapter Three Stephanie3965 was my new account name, very original. I was glad to have the same username, but what would become of the Rank Gladiator? I had to earn it all over again, spend even more time on it, and listen to the mockery of other users. I logged on nervously on my first day in this new account, and went to The Relaxed Chatroom. Everybody was curious why my old profile said I was deleted. I very cautiously typed "An Admin mistakenly deleted my account, so I must start fresh." "But Steph," Brian said. "You hate Gladiator so much, and now you have to earn it." Like I needed Brian to tell me, nevertheless, I said I didn't care and tried to ignore everybody. I was forced to announce my misfortune on Community Radio 101.1, all the listeners gave their silly regards and expressed supposed sympathy! Ah, I doubt they really understood why my head throbbed, my heart beat, all with distress. Finally, I realized I would have to go post-crazy! I joined every RP, chatroom, and club I could find! I posted tons of junk on it. "I ate cereal for breakfast." was the limit to quality in my posts. On clubs I said rather worthless things. On the Diogenes Club I said "I like Diogenes." It's a pure wonder the Mods let all of this stuff through, but maybe they were used to low quality. I began to post even more ridiculous stuff everywhere. Each math problem I did for school had it's own post. I made long redundant speeches with tricks on how to spell "banana". However, something came out of it all, two things, actually. One, I got to Rank 4, I was Gladiator. I was excited and disgusted at the same time, surely you understand the reason for my strongly mixed emotions. Two, a bunch of people really liked my speech on how to spell "banana"! That completely shocked me. "Stephanie," Qui gushed, "I never knew how to spell it till now. Ba-Nan-A. It is so simple! Thank you!" I stared at the post thinking they were completely joking, so to continue the jokes I typed, "Wait for my speech on how to spell "forest". I thought I was being very funny, yes, so smart. No, I was being stupid, for I trapped myself into writing a long essay on how to spell "forest", due to tons of users who could never remember the correct numbers of r's and s's. "Fo-Rest. Think of it like "Foe Rest" but it is pronounced differently, without the 'e' in Foe." Everybody loved it, and I was quite a celebrity due to this! But....I wasn't Roman Soldier-yet.
Prologue I stormed around my bedroom, every now and then running back to my laptop and gazing at it, while anathematizing under my breath. "Of all the luck!" I snapped at the laptop, as if the device was somehow to blame for my misfortune. I threw myself on the bed and gazed at the ceiling for a long while, till I calmed myself reasonably.
Then I rose, walked over to my desk, and picked up a half-full glass of water, and gulped it all down at once. Next I sat down at the desk, once more facing the laptop, and began to type, rather miserably.
You may think me quite mad, but logging into the LMBs brings such mixed and wild emotions into one as has never before been seen. Some of the most precious memories of my childhood occurred when logging into the LMBs. What old, sweet joys I had in those days, when I saw new, exciting topics, friends gaining ranks, and new replies. All of YOU have something else for that list, logging on to see a new, shiny Rank under your name. Not me. No, no, no. I hardly EVER had a new rank. You see, I was madly pacing about my room on this lovely spring day, muttering about my lack of a new rank. I had been Gladiator for two straight weeks! Imagine that! Two weeks of the ridiculous rank of Gladiator, for which I had no tolerance. Maybe some of you enjoy that Rank, it's weird, bizarre effect on the owner of it, but, oh, what a precious thing it must be to learn the effect of it! I owned this most wretched Rank, and I didn't want it. This whole story is that simple.
My actions were quite wild, and I am sure you will think me quite insane for hating this Rank, but, really...
Was the glass really half full or was it half empty?
Ignore everything I say, to the best of your ability.
Prologue I stormed around my bedroom, every now and then running back to my laptop and gazing at it, while anathematizing under my breath. "Of all the luck!" I snapped at the laptop, as if the device was somehow to blame for my misfortune. I threw myself on the bed and gazed at the ceiling for a long while, till I calmed myself reasonably.
Then I rose, walked over to my desk, and picked up a half-full glass of water, and gulped it all down at once. Next I sat down at the desk, once more facing the laptop, and began to type, rather miserably.
You may think me quite mad, but logging into the LMBs brings such mixed and wild emotions into one as has never before been seen. Some of the most precious memories of my childhood occurred when logging into the LMBs. What old, sweet joys I had in those days, when I saw new, exciting topics, friends gaining ranks, and new replies. All of YOU have something else for that list, logging on to see a new, shiny Rank under your name. Not me. No, no, no. I hardly EVER had a new rank. You see, I was madly pacing about my room on this lovely spring day, muttering about my lack of a new rank. I had been Gladiator for two straight weeks! Imagine that! Two weeks of the ridiculous rank of Gladiator, for which I had no tolerance. Maybe some of you enjoy that Rank, it's weird, bizarre effect on the owner of it, but, oh, what a precious thing it must be to learn the effect of it! I owned this most wretched Rank, and I didn't want it. This whole story is that simple.
My actions were quite wild, and I am sure you will think me quite insane for hating this Rank, but, really...
Was the glass really half full or was it half empty?
Chapter Three Stephanie3965 was my new account name, very original. I was glad to have the same username, but what would become of the Rank Gladiator? I had to earn it all over again, spend even more time on it, and listen to the mockery of other users. I logged on nervously on my first day in this new account, and went to The Relaxed Chatroom. Everybody was curious why my old profile said I was deleted. I very cautiously typed "An Admin mistakenly deleted my account, so I must start fresh." "But Steph," Brian said. "You hate Gladiator so much, and now you have to earn it." Like I needed Brian to tell me, nevertheless, I said I didn't care and tried to ignore everybody. I was forced to announce my misfortune on Community Radio 101.1, all the listeners gave their silly regards and expressed supposed sympathy! Ah, I doubt they really understood why my head throbbed, my heart beat, all with distress. Finally, I realized I would have to go post-crazy! I joined every RP, chatroom, and club I could find! I posted tons of junk on it. "I ate cereal for breakfast." was the limit to quality in my posts. On clubs I said rather worthless things. On the Diogenes Club I said "I like Diogenes." It's a pure wonder the Mods let all of this stuff through, but maybe they were used to low quality. I began to post even more ridiculous stuff everywhere. Each math problem I did for school had it's own post. I made long redundant speeches with tricks on how to spell "banana". However, something came out of it all, two things, actually. One, I got to Rank 4, I was Gladiator. I was excited and disgusted at the same time, surely you understand the reason for my strongly mixed emotions. Two, a bunch of people really liked my speech on how to spell "banana"! That completely shocked me. "Stephanie," Qui gushed, "I never knew how to spell it till now. Ba-Nan-A. It is so simple! Thank you!" I stared at the post thinking they were completely joking, so to continue the jokes I typed, "Wait for my speech on how to spell "forest". I thought I was being very funny, yes, so smart. No, I was being stupid, for I trapped myself into writing a long essay on how to spell "forest", due to tons of users who could never remember the correct numbers of r's and s's. "Fo-Rest. Think of it like "Foe Rest" but it is pronounced differently, without the 'e' in Foe." Everybody loved it, and I was quite a celebrity due to this! But....I wasn't Roman Soldier-yet.
Chapter Three Stephanie3965 was my new account name, very original. I was glad to have the same username, but what would become of the Rank Gladiator? I had to earn it all over again, spend even more time on it, and listen to the mockery of other users. I logged on nervously on my first day in this new account, and went to The Relaxed Chatroom. Everybody was curious why my old profile said I was deleted. I very cautiously typed "An Admin mistakenly deleted my account, so I must start fresh." "But Steph," Brian said. "You hate Gladiator so much, and now you have to earn it." Like I needed Brian to tell me, nevertheless, I said I didn't care and tried to ignore everybody. I was forced to announce my misfortune on Community Radio 101.1, all the listeners gave their silly regards and expressed supposed sympathy! Ah, I doubt they really understood why my head throbbed, my heart beat, all with distress. Finally, I realized I would have to go post-crazy! I joined every RP, chatroom, and club I could find! I posted tons of junk on it. "I ate cereal for breakfast." was the limit to quality in my posts. On clubs I said rather worthless things. On the Diogenes Club I said "I like Diogenes." It's a pure wonder the Mods let all of this stuff through, but maybe they were used to low quality. I began to post even more ridiculous stuff everywhere. Each math problem I did for school had it's own post. I made long redundant speeches with tricks on how to spell "banana". However, something came out of it all, two things, actually. One, I got to Rank 4, I was Gladiator. I was excited and disgusted at the same time, surely you understand the reason for my strongly mixed emotions. Two, a bunch of people really liked my speech on how to spell "banana"! That completely shocked me. "Stephanie," Qui gushed, "I never knew how to spell it till now. Ba-Nan-A. It is so simple! Thank you!" I stared at the post thinking they were completely joking, so to continue the jokes I typed, "Wait for my speech on how to spell "forest". I thought I was being very funny, yes, so smart. No, I was being stupid, for I trapped myself into writing a long essay on how to spell "forest", due to tons of users who could never remember the correct numbers of r's and s's. "Fo-Rest. Think of it like "Foe Rest" but it is pronounced differently, without the 'e' in Foe." Everybody loved it, and I was quite a celebrity due to this! But....I wasn't Roman Soldier-yet.
-last edited on Jun 3, 2017 21:23:04 GMT by Stephanie
Post by Stephanie on Jun 3, 2017 21:22:25 GMT
Chapter Four I logged into Eternal, glum and cheerless. Today had been a miserable day. The next door neighbor kid threw rocks at me. They hit me, SMACK! In the arm! I screamed instantly, then fled in utter humiliation. I dropped a glass. It cut my finger. Now an enormous bandage lurked on it. I dropped some schoolwork in the mud, and got horrible writer's cramp from recopying it. I stood in line at the grocery store for 27 minutes and 39 seconds to ask if they had any gum, they hadn't. I broke some kid's roller skates (by accident), and was forced to pay $10 for some new ones.
Now, as I logged in, my whole day faded away. All my troubles were stupid and far gone. I HAD RANK 5! I WAS ROMAN SOLDIER! I hurled my written speeches for spammy posts into the garbage can! I jumped up and down! Laughing so hard.
Then I stared at another user. "Rank 6....Minotaur..." I muttered thoughtfully. I must get Rank 6, Rank 5 was still in the newbie stage. What a little fool I was, for even possibly thinking I was something with-------I got up and looked at myself in mirror. "Stephanie," I said, staring straight into my eyes. "You'll get Minotaur eventually. Don't worry about it." I then smiled and sailed over to the computer, cheerful and pleased.
That is the tale of my sorrow, tears, all ended in a moment of contemplation. What did the ranks really matter? Rejoice when you get them, but don't mourn when you don't have them. I am glad that I stopped in my Minotaur rage. I really became much happier then I did when I first saw Roman Soldier under my name. (Don't get full of yourself, and think you're really something, or really have something. Don't think you're even slightly near perfect.). There's always a bigger fish, somebody else always has something better than you.
But I honestly like Roman Soldier, and will be Roman Soldier forever, willingly.
I am looking forward to seeing more. And I know the frustrations of being stuck on the horrible rank which is gladiator. 
