The Brick Boards - writer's block

writer's block | a sitcom

Jul 4, 2017 7:03:42 GMT

Post by braden on Jul 4, 2017 7:03:42 GMT

good evening everyone, I thought I'd write a sitcom about how I can't write a sitcom.

enjoy

1 - ONE

braden: this sitcom's almost finished, I think I did a great job
(an error occurs, braden's sitcom appears to have lost all comprehensibility)
braden: I can't believe you've done this
(braden attempts to break the fourth wall and fails)
braden: alright, I guess I'll think of something else to write, then—a "random" sitcom would be funny, because random equals funny
(I could disagree)
braden: that's your job dude, you're the "writer's block" in this sitcom
(right, but I'm being written by the guy who you're supposed to represent, so he could change my personality at any ti—gee, a "random" sitcom sounds funny to me!)
braden: about time you thought so
(you're referring to me as a person again, I'm just text you wrote)
braden: we've broken the fourth wall in so many ways
space-time portal opens
braden: well darn
two people step out of the portal
dr. emmet brown: what year is this?
braden: 2017—wait, aren't you the guy from [REMOVED FOR LEGAL REASONS]?
dr. emmet brown: yes, I was experimenting with some space-time portal technology and appear to have made a small mistake. anyway—Marty, we've gone too far into the future! we gotta go back!
marty mcfly: back where, doc?
dr. emmet brown: [REMOVED FOR LEGAL REASONS]
they jump back into the portal and it closes
(guess we shouldn't break the fourth wall, huh?)
braden: yup—whoops, did it again, wonder what's gonna happen this time
absolutely nothing out of the ordinary happens
braden: that's boring
well, what do you want me to do? I don't control this story
braden: yeah you do dude, you control all of us, including yourself
oh yeah, in that case—another space-time portal opens and braden is sucked into it
braden: here we go agaIIIIIIIIIINNNNNN—
space-time portal opens in the MB Asylum
braden: where am I
(read the above text, dude)
braden: oh yeah—OH NO
it appears an inmate (known as jimmydean5995) is being dragged back to his quarters by one of the guards, whose nametag reads "egorsmirnov"
jimmydean5995: please save me
braden: uh, bold-text?
what's up?
braden: could you kindly get me out of this horrible place
no can do, dude—the writer wants you to stay here, for comedic effect
braden: well darn

TBC - TO BE CONTINUED

Re: writer's block | a sitcom

Jul 6, 2017 8:04:48 GMT

Post by braden on Jul 6, 2017 8:04:48 GMT

2 - TWO

(the last time we saw braden, he was trapped in the MB Asylum with a bunch of nutjobs)
braden is being chased by the asylum guards
braden: I'M NOT ONE OF THEM
egorsmirnov: that's what they all say, buddy. c'mon, back to your room...
braden: bold-text if you don't get me out of this place you're not gonna get your paycheck this week
fine—braden falls into a sinkhole that somehow appeared in the middle of the asylum
braden: when I said get me out of this place, I didn't mean like that
(times are tough, we can't afford any more space-time portals)
braden: oh well, I hope wherever I end up this time will be better than the MB Asylum
braden falls through a store's roof and lands facefirst in a bucket of cucumbers
[USER]: good evening sir, how may I help you?
braden: I just fell through a sinkhole—in the floor—and ended up here, how is that even possible
(dude, space-time portals exist here)
braden: right. anyway, who are you?
m4jesus: my name is M4Jesus, I am a cucumber seller.
braden: I kind of guessed
braden climbs out of the bucket of cucumbers and adjusts his glasses
m4jesus: would you like to buy some cucumbers?
braden: no thanks, but if you could direct me to the nearest space-time portal, that would be great—see, I'm trying to write a sitcom, but writer's block and bold-text keep messing it up.
that's what you pay us for
(yeah, that's what you pay us for)
braden: no I don't, shut up
m4jesus: well, about your space-time portal—there's one located in skulduggery773's hotel, but he's—
braden: great thanks, I'll be on my way
braden walks out the door of the cucumber store
m4jesus: I didn't get to tell him... I guess he'll figure it out eventually
braden arrives at the MB Hotel, one of the most popular sitcoms on the now closed LMBs
braden: well isn't this a fancy place
braden knocks on the door, skul answers almost immediately
skulduggery773: A GUEST! A GUEST EVERYONE, A GUEST!
a loud commotion can be heard from indoors, followed by a noise that sounds like a cabinet falling
braden: did a cabinet just fall?
skulduggery773: uh, no, why would you ask that... please, come indoors!
braden steps inside, no one is there but him and skul
braden: I swear I heard, like, multiple people when I was outside...
skulduggery773: huh, must be your brain playing tricks on you. ROOM KEYS!
room keys fly out of nowhere and hit skul in the forehead
skulduggery773: ow. here's your room keys, you have room number 42
braden: 42?
skulduggery773: yes, 42... now go, it is your destiny—I mean, what?
(the MB hotel can be a strange place, but braden was prepared to take on the challenges it brought forth)
braden: no I'm not

TBC - TO BE CONTINUED