-last edited on Jan 23, 2021 17:47:12 GMT by Z-Whales
Post by Z-Whales on Jan 23, 2021 17:45:52 GMT
John drives to the North Pole.
Alan: What the hey, this is the North Pole! I'm not dressed for this weather! *starts freezing to death* AAAAAAAAAa Let's get out of here, please! Why did you take us here, you weirdo!?!? I thought we were going to a park!!!
John: Well, you see, the North Pole contains a secret method of transportation that will take us directly to the park faster than any vehicle known to man!!!
Alan: You're insane!
Chicken Ellie: *chicken noises*
Alan tries to wrestle control of the car from John.
Random Paleontologist Guy Named Joe is taking a nap in the backseat. He wakes up and sees that they are at the North Pole.
Random Paleontologist Guy Named Joe: Whoa, cool.
Random Paleontologist Guy Named Joe goes back to sleep.
Alan: You nitwit, drive back to a climate that is suitable for human life!!!
John: Noooo!!!
Alan successfully swaps places with John through brute force and puts the car into Drive. Unfortunately for him, the car is completely out of fuel.
Alan: Oh, great!!! Now we're stuck here and we're all gonna freeze to death!!!
John: Fear not!! What did I tell you? The North Pole has a secret underground vault with air conditioning!
Alan: You never said that.
John: Oh, yeah. But it's true!!!!!!!
Alan: Oh, yeah!? Prove it, you numbskull!
John: Okay.
John exits the car and starts wrestling a polar bear. The polar bear turns into a bologna sandwich and John eats it. Then a computer screen appears in the sky and John enters a password, causing the ground to open up, revealing Santa's workshop underneath.
Alan:
An elf named Mr. Elf walks to the workshop entrance and greets John.
Mr. Elf: Oh, hey, boss! Glad to see you make it back safe! Now I assume you'll be wanting to head to that park of yours?
Alan:
John (aka Santa Claus): Indeed, my good friend.
Does Mr. Elf:
A. lead them to the reindeer stalls B. lead them to the sleigh garage C. lead them to the toy factory
Alan: What the hey, this is the North Pole! I'm not dressed for this weather! *starts freezing to death* AAAAAAAAAa Let's get out of here, please! Why did you take us here, you weirdo!?!? I thought we were going to a park!!!
John: Well, you see, the North Pole contains a secret method of transportation that will take us directly to the park faster than any vehicle known to man!!!
Alan: You're insane!
Chicken Ellie: *chicken noises*
Alan tries to wrestle control of the car from John.
Random Paleontologist Guy Named Joe is taking a nap in the backseat. He wakes up and sees that they are at the North Pole.
Random Paleontologist Guy Named Joe: Whoa, cool.
Random Paleontologist Guy Named Joe goes back to sleep.
Alan: You nitwit, drive back to a climate that is suitable for human life!!!
John: Noooo!!!
Alan successfully swaps places with John through brute force and puts the car into Drive. Unfortunately for him, the car is completely out of fuel.
Alan: Oh, great!!! Now we're stuck here and we're all gonna freeze to death!!!
John: Fear not!! What did I tell you? The North Pole has a secret underground vault with air conditioning!
Alan: You never said that.
John: Oh, yeah. But it's true!!!!!!!
Alan: Oh, yeah!? Prove it, you numbskull!
John: Okay.
John exits the car and starts wrestling a polar bear. The polar bear turns into a bologna sandwich and John eats it. Then a computer screen appears in the sky and John enters a password, causing the ground to open up, revealing Santa's workshop underneath.
Alan:
An elf named Mr. Elf walks to the workshop entrance and greets John.
Mr. Elf: Oh, hey, boss! Glad to see you make it back safe! Now I assume you'll be wanting to head to that park of yours?
Alan:
John (aka Santa Claus): Indeed, my good friend.
Does Mr. Elf:
A. lead them to the reindeer stalls B. lead them to the sleigh garage C. lead them to the toy factory
Alan: What the hey, this is the North Pole! I'm not dressed for this weather! *starts freezing to death* AAAAAAAAAa Let's get out of here, please! Why did you take us here, you weirdo!?!? I thought we were going to a park!!!
John: Well, you see, the North Pole contains a secret method of transportation that will take us directly to the park faster than any vehicle known to man!!!
Alan: You're insane!
Chicken Ellie: *chicken noises*
Alan tries to wrestle control of the car from John.
Random Paleontologist Guy Named Joe is taking a nap in the backseat. He wakes up and sees that they are at the North Pole.
Random Paleontologist Guy Named Joe: Whoa, cool.
Random Paleontologist Guy Named Joe goes back to sleep.
Alan: You nitwit, drive back to a climate that is suitable for human life!!!
John: Noooo!!!
Alan successfully swaps places with John through brute force and puts the car into Drive. Unfortunately for him, the car is completely out of fuel.
Alan: Oh, great!!! Now we're stuck here and we're all gonna freeze to death!!!
John: Fear not!! What did I tell you? The North Pole has a secret underground vault with air conditioning!
Alan: You never said that.
John: Oh, yeah. But it's true!!!!!!!
Alan: Oh, yeah!? Prove it, you numbskull!
John: Okay.
John exits the car and starts wrestling a polar bear. The polar bear turns into a bologna sandwich and John eats it. Then a computer screen appears in the sky and John enters a password, causing the ground to open up, revealing Santa's workshop underneath.
Alan:
An elf named Mr. Elf walks to the workshop entrance and greets John.
Mr. Elf: Oh, hey, boss! Glad to see you make it back safe! Now I assume you'll be wanting to head to that park of yours?
Alan:
John (aka Santa Claus): Indeed, my good friend.
Does Mr. Elf:
A. lead them to the reindeer stalls B. lead them to the sleigh garage C. lead them to the toy factory
Mr. Elf: Here is the toy factory! It's where we make toys!
Alan: Well, duh.
Assorted Elves: La, la, la, we love making toys!
The Assorted Elves make toys as they sing.
John (aka Santa Claus): Er, Mr. Elf, shouldn't we be headed to the sleigh garage? Or have you finished that Island Portal yet?
Mr. Elf: We have finished the Island Portal, but it's on the other side of your workshop and we might as well give the full tour to the guests while we're on the way.
John (aka Santa Claus): Well, I suppose, although I am on a bit of a tight schedule.
Alan: How long does this tour take exactly?
Mr. Elf: 72 hours and 22 minutes!
Alan:
John (aka Santa Claus): It's because they let you test-play with one of every kind of toy we produce.
Mr. Elf: Oh, yeeeaaaaaahhhhhh, I forgot about that part of the tour! I was thinking of the abridged version. The test-playing makes it closer to 217 hours and 7 seconds.
Alan:
John (aka Santa Claus): Oh no no no nonononononononono wait you don't have to do that part of the tour!!!
Mr. Elf had already started on that part of the tour and so it was too late. Once an elf has started something, they cannot stop because that is an inherently nonsensical concept for them.
216 hours, 58 minutes and 37 seconds later:
Mr. Elf: And here is the brand-new Island Portal which can take us directly to the Boss's new island park west of Costa Rica! That concludes our tour. Any questions?
John (aka Santa Claus): No, I don't think so. Now can you send us through the portal so I can give them the tour I actually wanted them to see!?!?
Mr. Elf: Sure thing! Would you like me to help you with that tour?
Alan, John (aka Santa Claus), and Random Paleontologist Guy Named Joe: NOOO!!!!
Chicken Ellie: *chicken noises*
Mr. Elf cries.
John (aka Santa Claus): Go make some toys!
Mr. Elf instantly cheers up.
Mr. Elf: Okay!
Mr. Elf departs to his toy-making post.
John (aka Santa Claus): Wait a minute, I don't know how to operate the Island Portal!
Does John (aka Santa Claus):
A. try to operate the Island Portal himself B. ask Random Paleontologist Guy Named Joe to figure it out C. summon Mr. Elf back
Mr. Elf: Here is the toy factory! It's where we make toys!
Alan: Well, duh.
Assorted Elves: La, la, la, we love making toys!
The Assorted Elves make toys as they sing.
John (aka Santa Claus): Er, Mr. Elf, shouldn't we be headed to the sleigh garage? Or have you finished that Island Portal yet?
Mr. Elf: We have finished the Island Portal, but it's on the other side of your workshop and we might as well give the full tour to the guests while we're on the way.
*snip*
John (aka Santa Claus): Wait a minute, I don't know how to operate the Island Portal!
Does John (aka Santa Claus):
A. try to operate the Island Portal himself B. ask Random Paleontologist Guy Named Joe to figure it out C. summon Mr. Elf back