M4Jesus ran to open the door as someone knocked on it. “Hey, how are you doing, Golden?”
Golden smiled. “Doing well, thanks! I came to buy some cucumbers. Do you have any?”
Laughing sheepishly, M4Jesus said, “Well, actually, no. Zapty came by and ate everything in my store! Thankfully, I’m getting a shipment in this afternoon.”
“Okay! I’ll be back then!” Golden walked out.
M4Jesus went to his TV and turned it on. “Breaking news! Notorious pickle thief is visiting the MB’s and is thirsty for some, you guessed it, pickles! If you see this criminal, report to local law enforcement at once.”
Stunned, M4Jesus turned around. “No doubt that thief will come here to get what he wants! I need to burglar proof my shop.”
And so, M4Jesus set about the task with a feeling of foreboding. First, he set up a cage above the door that would go down on anyone who came in. Then, he set up a cannon at the back of the store. Then, he put up even more traps.
“I sure hope this works!” M4Jesus said as he surveyed his variety of traps.
He turned on the TV again. “Welcome to LEGO MB opera! Here we have our first contestant, Miss starwarsgirl!” M4Jesus settled down in his chair.
Outside his shop, some disreputable characters were skulking around the alley way.
“Is it time, boss?” one of them asked.
The boss shook his head. “Not yet. I hear a lady singing in there.”
The gang covered their ears as the out of tune voice rang from inside the shop. “Hey boss, she sounds terrible!”
Suddenly, the crooks heard a car drive up. “This might be our chance,” the boss said, “let’s sneak around that car and wait until the user goes inside. Then, we charge in.”
The gang started chuckling with anticipation.
Meanwhile, Golden got out of his car. “I wonder if those cucumbers have come in yet?” He saw a stack of pickles inside the shop’s front window. “I guess they have!” He walked toward the door.
The gang watched as Golden strode forward and turned the handle. Suddenly, they jumped out at him, guns drawn.
“Okay, stick em’ up!” the gang leader said.
Golden put his hands up. “I don’t have any money!” he said.
The gangsters laughed. “We ain’t interested in money!” one of them yelled.
The leader nodded. “That’s right! You’re going to go in there first. We’ll be right behind you,” he nodded at Golden.
Golden opened the door and saw M4Jesus sleeping in his chair with the TV blaring. The gang filed into the shop.
All of a sudden, the shop exploded with sounds of cannons firing, cages falling, and traps springing. Golden found himself pinned against the wall by a spear, while M4Jesus woke up and saw he was trapped in a cage.
M4Jesus looked around and saw the unharmed gangsters. “You can’t do this!” he yelled at them.
The boss started laughing. “Oh, yes we can! Boys, start taking the cucumbers as well as the pickles.
The other gang members chuckled. “You got it, boss.”
Suddenly, the door flew open, and there was Zapty, standing there with a frying pan in his hand and a fire in is eye.
“You can’t take pie kills or cool cumbers!” he yelled as he started swinging the frying pan. “Zapty here to save day!”
The gangsters looked stunned as Zapty knocked them out one at a time with the pan.
After the job was done, Zapty turned to the two bewildered users and smiled. “Me always happy to help!”
Season 2, Episode 5: Attack of the Mutant Ninja Cucumbers!
Part 1:
M4Jesus opened his store’s front door and walked outside to his cucumber garden. “It’s a beautiful day, my cool cumber beauties!”
“Hello there!” a person said from behind M4Jesus.
Swiveling around, M4Jesus squinted at the user dressed in a pink karate suit. “Um, hi!” M4Jesus said.
“My name is Elizabeth, and I was just wondering if you wanted your cucumbers to come to my ninja training class.”
M4Jesus stared at Elizabeth. “What?” he said.
“It’s simple!” Elizabeth said. “All you have to do is bring your cucumbers to my class and I’ll teach them how to be professional ninjas. So what do you say?”
M4Jesus started to speak, but Elizabeth cut him off. “Great, then! I’ll come by tomorrow and pick them up. See you then!” Elizabeth walked off.
Shaking his head, M4Jesus went back inside. “That user must be crazy!” he said. “I don’t actually think she can teach my cucumbers how to be ninjas!”
Meanwhile, in a secret laboratory under the MB Hotel, Skul paced the floor. “When is that Elizabeth going to get back?” he wondered.
Almost immediately, the door swung open and Elizabeth entered. “Well, did you secure the cucumbers?” Skul asked.
Elizabeth nodded. “That’s good.” Skul said. “Tomorrow, M4Jesus will be overrun with his own cucumbers! Ha ha ha ha!”
The next morning, M4Jesus woke to the sound someone pounding on the door. “What is it, what is it?” M4Jesus said as he opened the door.
“I’m here, bright and early!” Elizabeth said as she darted inside and picked up a crate of cucumbers.
“I can see that.” M4Jesus said.
“Well, bye!” Elizabeth sped out the door.
Several hours later, M4Jesus turned on his tv to see the news. “Breaking headlines!” the tv blared. “Mutated ninja cucumbers invade the MB’s, seeking to destroy everything! Immediate action is being taken by the local Mods.”
M4Jesus groaned. Somehow, he knew that his cucumbers had something to do with this. “What am I going to do now?” he said.
Suddenly, the door to the cucumber store burst open. M4Jesus yelled as he was quickly covered in cucumbers. The cucumbers immediately began to tie him up and say, “This is revenge on those who sell us!”
Struggling to no avail, M4Jesus yelled, “I’m sorry!” The cucumbers ignored him. “Um… I like cool cumbers! How’s yours!” Again, the cucumbers ignored him and walked out.
M4Jesus easily undid the knots and slipped free. Rushing to the door, he saw his cucumbers spreading out and having food fights in the café’s.
Skul walked up. “M4Jesus, I need your help.”
“Yeah, what is it?” M4Jesus asked.
“Well, I guess you should know. I caused these cucumbers to come to your shop and get you. I had no idea they would start destroying the whole MB’s!” Skul sighed. “Now, I need your help to stop them.
M4Jesus pondered the proposition. “Well, I guess so. But you must promise never to use my cucumbers for evil means again.”
Skul nodded. “I promise.”
M4Jesus and Skul ran toward the MB headquarters and saw Zapty walking toward them. “Hi, cool cumber man! Hi, Mrs. Skul!”
“Hi, Zapty. I was just wondering, do you think you could help me calm down these cucumbers?” M4Jesus asked.
Zapty grinned. “Me be happy to!” He pulled out a megaphone. “ALL COOL CUMBERS, LISTEN TO I!”
Skul and M4Jesus covered their ears. Immediately, all the cucumbers turned to Zapty. “ALL COOL CUMBERS, RETURN TO SENOR M4’S SHOP!” As one, the cucumbers turned and marched back to M4Jesus’s shop.
M4Jesus turned to Zapty. “Thank you. I don’t know what I would have done without you!”
“It not matter. I be paid in pie kills and cool cumbers, though!” Zapty said.
“Don’t worry, you’ll be paid!” M4Jesus said.
Zapty glared at the cowering Skul. “And as for you!” Zapty grabbed his megaphone again. “10 COOL CUMBERS, ATTACK MRS. SKUL!!!!!!!”
And from then on, Zapty was known and the “cool cumber yeller.” (Instead of the cool cumber whisperer. )
M4Jesus woke up to the sound of construction outside his store. “What is going on?” he said as he jumped out of bed.
Suddenly, the window opened. “Good morning, cool cumber man! Zapty here to practice building!”
Groaning, M4Jesus said, “Okay, but please do it somewhere else! I need to catch up on my sleep.”
Zapty grinned. “That good! Sleep is good for liver! Well, me go see if Mrs. Skul need help. See you soon!” Zapty sped away on his huge excavator.
Several hours later, M4Jesus sat on his laptop and checked his email. “Hmm…. How interesting… wait… oh no!!”
Golden walked in. “Hey, M4, how’s it going?”
M4Jesus turned to him. “I just found out that my grandfather is coming! You know, the guy who invented pickles? And he is coming to my store to see how it is coming along!”
“Wow, that’s tough luck.” Golden whistled. “What we need is someone who can remodel this building for us, you know, get it in tip – top shape.”
Zapty’s head peaked into the room. “I be good for that!”
Golden and M4Jesus turned to him. “You think you could?” M4 asked.
“Me know me can! Me just make a few small adjustments here and there.”
“Okay!” M4Jesus said. “You go ahead and get started. Golden, you can show him where everything is, I have to go to town and buy some pickles. I’ll be back soon!” M4Jesus walked out the door, whistling a merry tune.
After picking up the much needed supplies, M4Jesus returned to his store to see how it was coming along. “I sure hope it looks good!” he said.
Rounding the corner, a horrifying site met his eyes. “Hello, Senor M4!” Zapty said cheerily as he demolished the last beam of M4Jesus’s store with a huge ban jackhammer.
“What have you done?” M4Jesus yelled at Zapty and the stunned Golden.
“I tried to stop him…” Golden said.
“I’m sure you did!” M4Jesus said as he looked at the big dumptruck Golden was in. “Now what am I supposed to do?”
Golden and Zapty looked at each other. “Maybe you could… um… go eat pickles?” Golden said.
M4Jesus fumed. “No, I am not going to go eat pickles! I need someone to tell me how I can get my store back together!”
Zapty said, “Maybe me can help!”
“What could you possibly do to make things any better?” M4Jesus asked.
“Me could get Mrs. Skul to buy new store!”
“No, I’m sure that would not work.” M4Jesus said.
“Wait, I have an idea!” Golden said. “I’ll be right back.
Soon, Golden was back with something in his hands. “What is that?” M4Jesus asked.
Golden smiled. “It’s a super brick! It builds stuff back really quick. Watch!” Golden pointed the brick at a pile of dead trees. Suddenly, the trees came alive and started dancing.
“Do you think that will actually help us?” M4Jesus said as Golden pointed the super brick at his shop.
“Oh, I know it will work!” Golden said as he activated the function. It started up, then shut off.
“What happen?” Zapty asked.
Golden shook the brick. “It’s out of batteries. I knew I should have gotten some more!”
M4Jesus sighed in hopelessness. It was all over now.
“Me have idea!” Zapty said.
“What is it?” Golden and M4Jesus said in unison.
“Me could go to town and buy batteries!”
M4Jesus smacked his head. “Ow, that hurt. Anyway, why didn’t I think of that?”
Golden chuckled. “I have no idea.”
Zapty ran off. “I sure hope he’ll be in time!” M4 said.
Several hours later, Zapty returned to find Golden and M4Jesus sleeping. “Wake up, guys, me got batteries!”
Special Episode Between Seasons 2 and 3: Rival Cool Cumber Sellers!
M4Jesus walked through the MB’s, looking at all there was to see. Suddenly, he saw a new pickle store had been opened! “What on earth is that doing there?”
Standing in front of him was a huge pickle with arms and legs dancing around in front of the store. “Come buy cool cumbers and pie kills today at good price at Zapty’s Cool Cumuber Stop!”
“What do you think you’re doing?” M4Jesus asked the pickle.
The pickle pulled its mask off. “Me doing nothing! Just selling cool cumbers.”
M4Jesus sighed. “Look, my shop should be the only one in town! What price are you selling the cucumbers for anyway?”
Zapty thought for a moment. “Me sell them for….. nothing!”
“What!” M4Jesus said. “How will you make a profit?”
“Me don’t need a prophet, me already asked Skul! He say, ‘I think it’s a good idea. I can get you out of my hair and put M4Jesus out of business at the same time!’”
“He really said it? Are you sure?”
Zapty nodded eagerly. “Me sure!”
WaveViper walked up. “Hey, M4Jesus, how’s it going?”
“Not so good,” M4Jesus said, “This little weasel right here is acting like a pawn for Skul!”
Zapty grinned. “Me pawn many things! Me pawned Skul’s priceless golden shoes, me pawned cool cumbers…”
“Oh, never mind.” M4Jesus said. “Anyway, WaveViper, what should I do?”
WaveViper thought for a moment. “Well, if he’s selling them for free, I would just buy them all and sell them in your store!”
“Great idea!” M4Jesus said. “I’ll do that right now. Thanks a lot!”
“Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!” The pickle overlord said as his minions covered their ears.
“Excuse me sir, couldn’t you be a bit more… quiet?” one of the minions said.
“What?!?” the pickle overlord said as his voice echoed in the huge underground headquarters. “I am happy! Soon, my conquest of the LMB’s will be begin, and I will be master of all cucumber species! Including pickles.”
Walking over to a touch screen map, he tapped the screen and the map zoomed in on a small store in the LMB’s Message Board’s forum.
“And that is where I will strike first! M4Jesus’s Cucumber Shop! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!” he laughed as his minion’s covered their ears for the twentieth time that day.
~
M4Jesus stood in the doorway of his store, his hand hovering over his gun holster.
*Western Music Playing*
KACHINK. KACHINK. KACHINK.
Another user walked up in front of him, fingers near his own holstered gun.
Studying his opponent, M4Jesus suddenly yelled, “Draw!”
Immediately, the two users drew their guns and fired them at each other. “Ouch!” the other user, WaveViper, said as a cucumber seed struck him in the cheek.
M4Jesus blew on his cucumber as the pickle smoke cleared. “Well, that settles it! I am the fastest cucumber drawer in the West.”
WaveViper complained, “Why can’t we use different guns? Why do we always have to use cucumber guns?”
M4Jesus shrugged. “LEGO CITY SHOULDN’T HVAE GUNS!” he quoted.
Suddenly, the two friends heard a siren in the distance. “What is going on?” WaveViper asked.
“I have no idea!” M4Jesus said. “Let’s check on my TV.”
WaveViper and M4Jesus ran inside and turned on the TV. The TV said that an evil pickle overlord was advancing on the LMB’s and that he was hungry for cucumbers!
M4Jesus turned to WaveViper, the color draining from his face. “That means he will be coming here!” he said.
Nodding, WaveViper said, “We should get the heavy artillery out!” All of a sudden, there was a knock on the door and Zapty burst in.
“Hello, fellow cool cumber lovers! Superb Zapty here to help save the day from that evil pie kill ovalcord!”
M4Jesus smiled. “Good! The more hands the better!” He handed Zapty a cucumber bazooka. “You shoot this at them. It will fire a huge barrel of combustible cucumbers, to be careful!”
Zapty’s face lit up. “No worry’s, Senor M4! Zapty will make sure only bad guys get what they deserve!”
“Good.” M4Jesus said as he picked up a PPG (Pickle Propelled Grenade.) “Let’s show them what we’re made of.”
“You got it, M4Jesus!” WaveViper said as he aimed a cucumber machine gun at the oncoming horde of pickle pirates.
The pickle overlord sat in his huge pickle mech and stared in disbelief at his men falling beneath the onslaught of the three courageous users. “What is happening?” he yelled down at a minion.
The minion quaked in fear. “Um… well… you see…”
Fuming, the pickle overlord said, “I want an answer!”
The minion summoned his courage and said, “Well, sir, our army’s armor was designed to stop spam viruses, bullets, and banhammers, but what the ammunition these users are shooting at us is having an effect we had not anticipated!”
The pickle overlord sighed. “Well, what are they shooting at us?”
The minion gulped and said in a small voice, “Sir, they are firing… cucumbers.”
“WHAT??!!!!!!!!!!!!!???” The overlord yelled. “You mean that our army is being totally defeated by pickle guns?”
“Yes.” The minion said matter-of-factly.
The pickle overlord sighed. “Well, then… we must retreat.”
~
M4Jesus, Zapty and WaveViper stared in disbelief as the battered army turned and ran as one man, back to where they came from.
“Wow… we actually did that?” WaveViper asked.
“Yes, we did!” M4Jesus said. “We actually won! Great job, guys!”
Zapty said, “Now can I have some cool cumbers for me?”
M4Jesus looked at a man announcing an announcement near his store. “Attention all users! The LEGO Message Boards are having a contest for the best original video game created by you all right now. The winner will have his or her game sold in stores. The contest ends in three days! That’s all.”
Turning to Zapty, M4Jesus said, “Wow, that sounds pretty neat! I think I might do a game! Are you?”
Zapty grinned. “Of course, cool cumber man! Me always has good game ideas. Bye!” Zapty strode off to start designing his game.
M4Jesus walked back to his shop. “Hmm… I think I have an idea!” He told his cucumbers. “But it will take a lot of work. I had better get started!”
~
Two days later, M4Jesus wearily sat back and dialed Golden’s number.
“Hello?” Golden said.
“Hi Golden, I need some help. You see, I have designed this game where you stomp on cucumbers and get power ups, and then you try to fight through the mutant pickle army. It’s called ‘Mutant Cucumber Hunt.’ However, I don’t know how to process it onto a chip. Do you think you could help me?”
The was a five second pause, and then Golden answered, “Of course! I would love to help. I’ll be right over.”
“Whew!” M4Jesus said. “Thanks a lot!” He hung up. “Maybe I should have told him that I have only designed one level. On paper. And I don’t even have a computer. Well, I guess he’ll find out when he gets here!”
Golden knocked on the door. “Come in!” M4Jesus said.
“I’m so glad you called me!” Golden said as he opened the door. “I’m just the user youi need! Okay, where is your computer?”
M4Jesus looked around and said sheepishly, “It’s in the repair shop. Some of my cucumbers spilled pickle juice all over it and blew it up. However, I did design one level… on paper.”
Golden sighed. “This will take a lot longer then I expected. Thankfully, I brought my computer and the chip we need!” He held up the items. “Alright, let’s get to work.”
Forty – five minutes later, M4Jesus and Golden looked at the finished game on his computer. “Well, that looks really nice!” M4Jesus said.
“I agree!” Golden said. “How about you test it out.”
M4Jesus nodded. “You got it!” He sat down at the computer and started up the game.
All of a sudden, Zapty walked in. “Hello, fellow cool cumber lovers! Me has designated my own game! Does you want to see it?”
Golden looked at M4Jesus. “I guess I will!” Golden said as he took the small, portable 1980’s style Gameboy from Zapty. “Uh, where’s the mouse on this thing?”
Zapty smiled. “It have no mouse! You have to use your imagination to see big things on it!”
“What?” Golden said.
“Yep! I also designed another game on this thing called a ‘cod puuter.’ It called, ‘Angry Pie Kills!” Zapty said as he pulled out a computer from behind his back and put in front of Golden.
“Now this should be interesting!” Golden said.
(Just so you know, "cod puuter" means computer in Zapty language. )
