Post by MockingbirdInc on Aug 29, 2019 0:33:32 GMT
A dark, chilling wind gusted across the dwindling, spindly dead branches, past the crispy, falling dead leave of a muted palette, and through the bones of the three adventurers. A harsh fog swept through the ground of the forest, blurring the sight of the prickly nature of the deep woods. An unpleasant musk of rotting wood wafted through the humid, dense air, raisin the hairs off of Little Agent's hairless, boney back. His eyes darted nervously around the area as he cautiously stepped forward. "D-d-don't worry, guys - there's nothing here but flying french fries!" He stammered in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Won't that be, er, fulfillingly, fantastically, and, uh, euuuuphorically fun?" "I've been thinking -" Best Welsh Buddy noted, "sure, they're flying french fries, but aren't they also supposed to be freaky?" "Like, how freaky is 'freaky?'" She continued to wonder aloud, "Like, 'Ukranian-kid's-show-mascot-design freaky', or 'haunt-your-nightmares-for-years-to-come-filling-you-with-nothing-but-intense-despairing-fear-for-all-eternity freaky?'" "Let's not think about that now." Little Agent suggesting with a passive-aggressive tone, insinuating his wish remain distracted. "We'll find out soon enough." He grimly muttered under his breath. "Honestly, french fries by themselves were already enough to freak me out." Daddy Potato mentioned. "When I was a kid, whenever you went outside, you always had to be aware of anthropomorphized french fries capturing you with a giant fishing net and taking you to their evil lair to grind your bones into chocolate milk." "I'll check the history books, but I'm pretty sure that's never happened to anybody in the history of ever." Little Agent declared. "What kind of neighborhood did you grow up in?" Best Welsh Buddy asked. "You'll never make it." A deep, dark voice suddenly declared. "What was that?!?" Little Agent gasped. "You're worthless." Another voice echoed. It came from a nearby tree, but no figured could be discerned from the intense shadow the forest set. "Nobody loves you." Another entity spoke. The speaker stepped forward to reveal itself, sitting upon a dead tree limb. Daddy Potato gasped. "You!" (1/2)
Post by MockingbirdInc on Aug 29, 2019 0:47:30 GMT
“What?! Who?!” Little Agent asked frantically, sweeping across the forest. “‘Hoo’ is exactly the word, Little Agent.” Daddy Potato responded grimly. “They’re the Owls of Self-Doubt.” “What the brick does that even mean?!” Best Welsh Buddy screeched. “You’ll never fulfill your dreams.” Declared another menacing owl from behind them. “I’ve met their kind before.” Daddy Potato growled. “They tell you a bunch of demeaning and insulting things, hoping to hurt you - not all unlike your common Internet troll. “They’re native to these forests. Don’t let their words get to you - they feed off of anxiety.” “They must target teenagers a lot, then.” Little Agent quietly uttered. “Don’t worry -“ Daddy Potato instructed, “it’s like mentioning @everyone and telling them they’re beautiful - it’s generally so vague and impersonal you won’t actually get any meaning from it.” “Your Beanie Baby investment will never yield any recognizable profit.” Another owl cruelly cooed with a silky voice from the trees. “Hey!” Daddy Potato shouted. “I resent that!” “Let’s just try to get out of here as soon as possible - the sooner the better.” Little Agent suggested. The team nodded and then began to run forward, shoving loose branches and limbs out of their pathway, their pounding footsteps muffled by the woods’ excessive undergrowth and the echoing voices of emotionally-destructive owls chanting insults as they ran past.
However, the team never could have been prepared for what would happen next. Or maybe they would. I mean, you never really can tell with this story.
*** “I’ve met their kind before.” Daddy Potato growled. “They tell you a bunch of demeaning and insulting things, hoping to hurt you - not all unlike your common Internet troll. “They’re native to these forests. Don’t let their words get to you - they feed off of anxiety.” “They must target teenagers a lot, then.” Little Agent quietly uttered. *
"It's been two years, Lady Narwhal. You just have to face it. They're not coming back." Lord Tigress was on the verge of tears thinking about the probably horrible fate of her brother and nephew. The worst part wasn't accepting that they were gone - it was not knowing why. Did they lose a game of Mario Kart to Mr. Dentist? Did they encounter an entirely unexpected patch of quicksand? Did they annoy Best Welsh Buddy so intensely she incinerated them with a single glare? It could be any of the above. "You don't think I KNOW that?" exclaimed Lady Narwhal. "Excuse me for finding it hard to ACCEPT that one day I lived a completely normal life with my family, and then some dragon came and took them away from us. Excuse me for finding it hard to ACCEPT that you're the only person I have left. Maybe Mandarin Orange made the right decision leaving the team." "Do you think this has been EASY for me? I've had to take care of you, BY MYSELF, for the past two years, while fighting an evil empire." "I just... I just wish none of this had happened. I wish the six of us could be together again. I wish we never found out about that dumb prophecy." Lord Tigress hugged her little sister, trying to comfort her. "I wish that too. But we have to move forward. There's no way we're ever gonna stop Mr. Dentist from getting all 12 of the Bricks without you on this team."
...
Daddy Potato opened his eyes. The sky was very bright. The ground was very hard. It was a generally unpleasant experience. He turned his head and saw his son, still unconscious. "Thank goodness you're finally up!" The unmistakable voice of Best Welsh Buddy came from somewhere behind him. "I thought I'd have to find my way out of here all alone!" "What happened? What's wrong with Little Agent?" Daddy Potato was concerned with the entire situation, and rightfully so. "I have absolutely no clue. I just remember the three of us falling into that entirely unexpected patch of quicksand, and ending up here. I'm sure Little Agent will wake up, just like you. But I have something to show you." Best Welsh Buddy pulled out her phone. "...It's been two years?"
Chapter 18: Timeskip, or the Only Numbered One *snip*
...
Daddy Potato opened his eyes. The sky was very bright. The ground was very hard. It was a generally unpleasant experience. He turned his head and saw his son, still unconscious. "Thank goodness you're finally up!" The unmistakable voice of Best Welsh Buddy came from somewhere behind him. "I thought I'd have to find my way out of here all alone!" "What happened? What's wrong with Little Agent?" Daddy Potato was concerned with the entire situation, and rightfully so. "I have absolutely no clue. I just remember the three of us falling into that entirely unexpected patch of quicksand, and ending up here. I'm sure Little Agent will wake up, just like you. But I have something to show you." Best Welsh Buddy pulled out her phone. "...It's been two years?"
