So this little dude had a mom but before I tell you about her I'm gonna tell you what exactly a little dude is cause they're basically nonexistent these days so you probably don't know. Little dudes are really little, like twice as little as most average dudes. They're even smaller than short dudes, who have rad beards. Little dudes don't have rad beards, or any rad powers, besides super-sneakiness, cause they are pretty darn sneaky. They could hear you walking from a mile away and hide in a jiffy. They're normally pretty fat and flashy and barefoot (cuz their feet are super tough and fuzzy) and long-fingered and friendly-looking and they laugh really loudly (especially after they've had their two dinners). So that's basically all you need to know about little dudes. Anyhoo, this little dude was named Bilboy Swaggins and his mom was the famous Prettydonna Taken, and she was one of the three daughters of Old-Guy Taken, the most important of all the little dudes that lived on the other side of The Water. Oh, The Water was the nearby water, in case you were wondering. Lots of non-Taken little dudes said that the Takens had a fairy ancestor but that's stupid because fairies aren't real you silly goose. But either way the Takens were kind of a little less swaggy than the other little dudes and every once in a while one of them would have an adventure! (not swaggy) They were always super-duper secret, and the other Takens pretended it hadn't happened but it had and rumors spread, making the Takens a lot less swaggy than the Swagginses, even though they had more cash money.
    Of course, Prettydonna Taken never had any adventures, at least not after she married Bungoy Swaggins. He was Bilboy's dad and he made a super-swaggy little dude's hole for her (using her cash money), that was the most swaggy hole in the world. And even though Bilboy looked and acted a lot like Bungoy, he still had a lot of Taken-y-ness in him that never got a chance to show its unswagginess. At least not until Bilboy was 50 years old and it looked like he had permanently settled down in his dad's super-swaggy little dude's hole.

To Be Continued...

Wow, I'm really bad about committing to a story, aren't I? This has been sitting here for over a year now, holy bricks!!!